


And So It Was

by 21CrumbledShadows12



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Attempted Kidnapping, Bi-Curiosity, Death, F/F, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Heartache, Love, Other, Slow Burn, gunslinger
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:20:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 43,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23258305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/21CrumbledShadows12/pseuds/21CrumbledShadows12
Summary: Louis Anastasia Peters has never really known the truth about her parents. Her wretched aunt gave her as little information as possible, especially when it came to her mother. One day Louis finds the truth, in a box, in the attic of her aunt's prison of a plantation home. Her mother's journals and trinkets, weapons and mysteries, all laid out before her. And a small photograph of her mother and her real father. From then on Lou wants nothing more than to become who she was born to be: Louis Anastasia Van Der Linde.Disclaimer: Entering into Part 2 of Story, under construction.
Relationships: Annabelle/Dutch van der Linde, Arthur Morgan/Original Female Character(s), Dutch van der Linde/Original Female Character(s), Hosea Matthews/Original Female Character(s), Van der Linde Gang/Original Character(s)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 36





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I have been playing around with this idea in my head for a while now and I think that its about time to get it out there for the world to enjoy. I hope that its everything you have been looking for.
> 
> Some Notes:  
> I imagined this as being a whole story line in the game and as having its own game. The title of this fic, implies a whole new video game altogether. So, it basically bleeds into Red Dead 2 and then the next video game coming out would have been "Van Der Linde Edition". Thus, implying that you would get to play as my character and as Dutch at some parts. However, in the actual game Dutch doesn't have any biological kids. This is me just playing with an idea.

“Ready, or not! Here I come!” The tiny voice was loud enough to echo up the stairs and Alex nearly lost his footing out of the sheer panic that overflowed him. It also didn’t help that he couldn’t see through Lou’s skirts, as she was sitting atop his shoulders, so as to reach for the long rope connecting up to the attic.

“Stop moving around so much, Alex.” She hissed in a whisper.

“I am trying, but she is almost here. Let’s hide somewhere-“

“Got it.” He tripped and fell back, she pulled the rope with her and the attic stairs came sliding down, nearly crushing them. Louis rearranged her skirts and came to stand, she lifted her chin high with pride. “I told you it would work.” She whispered, Alex groaning as he tried to recover from the fall. That very fall made such a boisterous noise, Louis’s head snapped to the hall entrance when she heard footsteps.

“I know you are up here.” Angie’s words were teasing, and they were only getting closer.

“Go Alex! Hurry up!” Alex patted his head, rushing up the stairs as quietly as his shiny shoes would let him. Once Louis was also in the attic, she pulled the stairs up with a grunt, her skinny arms could only bare so much weight.

“Maybe this is-“ Louis slapped a hand over his mouth, footsteps could be heard below and from the crack in the floorboards she could make out Angie’s pink dress. When she felt the coast was clear, she removed her hand from Alex’s mouth and smiled at him.

“The rules are that the hiding must be done within the house. Technically, we are still in the house.” Alex rolled his eyes, then turned to face the rest of the attic. It spanned nearly the entirety of the house. His first thought was how much bigger it was than his own attic at home. Louis’s first thought pertained mainly to how she was now going to be able to spy on everyone in the house up here. Alex stood, moving around the attic slowly. Boxed piled up to the roof, dust had found its home on many of them, old lamps and broken-down furniture, but still plenty of room to move freely for a young child. It was dim, a circular window at the front of the room allowed for light to poor through.

“Wow, this is amazing, Louis. Have you ever been up here before?” She patted down her skirts and then followed after him, eyes scanning the many stacked up books and forgotten clothes.

“Not really, silly.” She laughed, “I was never tall enough to reach the rope.”

“At home, I am not tall enough to reach the rope, but my mother lets me use the attic as a cave.” It was almost like he was bragging. She knew he wasn’t, but it felt that way. He knew that Louis didn’t have a mother, nor a father, to let her do such things. Her Aunt didn’t provide as a replacement for either of them and was quite stern with her all the time.

“How Sweet of her.” Louis sarcastically shot back, her eyes catching on a shiny object at the far corner of the attic, furthest from the entrance.

“What is that?” Alex came running past her to get to the object first. His eyes widened as he pulled it from the box and held it up in the air.

“Wow! Louis, look.”

“I see.” It was a revolver; rusty, unkempt, but still retaining to a certain extent, its shine. While he fiddled with the revolver, something she’d never thought she’d see in her own house, she curiously peaked in the box. Her eyebrows furrowed as she came across stacks of documents and leather books, a cloth satchel underneath it all, which she handed to Alex to sort through. She started searching deeper, opening the books and looking through the patches. They were journals. The documents were opened letters.

“Louis…” Alex muttered under his breath, with the revolver still being swung around in his one hand, the other held out a photo. “Is that your mother?” Louis immediately dropped any papers she was carrying, and she looked into the photograph. It was her mother. She had only ever seen one other photo of her mother and her Aunt had said it was the only photo. The difference between this photo and the other one was that the mother was with a man in this one and she was sitting on his lap, far less proper and appropriate than the other photo. Her mother was alone in the other photo wearing an expensive gown that her Aunt had said would one day be her wedding dress. However, the photo that she was looking at here was most definitely not from a wedding. The man was different from the ones that she would see associating themselves with their class of people. It wasn’t to say that he was poor looking, but he was absolutely not a gentleman.

“Louis? Are you okay?”

“Where did you find this?”

“In the Satchel.” She held her hand out, silently demanding that he hand the satchel over. It was for some reason, fairly cleared out. It contained three things: a knife, another journal and a necklace. She held the necklace up, inspecting it closely. It was an expensive, far more expensive than the necklaces she would see her Aunt wear.

“LOUIS! ALEX! Where are you?” It sounded like the maid. Angie must have gone to her, when neither of them responded to her calls for a truce. Louis glanced up at the box, at all of the mysteries inside, all of the answers that her Aunt had never allowed her the ability to know.

“Louis, we have to go.” Alex, the goodie two shoes kid that he was, put the revolver back in the box and reached for Louis’s hand. “Come on, we can come look at this another day. When it isn’t your birthday and we have more time, okay?” Louis reluctantly nodded, placing the items back into the box. All aside from the photo, which she squeezed into the corset of her dress. They both exited the attic and quickly pushed the stairs back up, so as not to alert anyone that they had been up there. “Next time, we should take the revolver outside and see if it works.” Louis didn’t answer, she was more fascinated with the letters and the journals and most importantly, the photograph. Louis and Alex turned the corner, only to bump into the maid and Angie. Angie crossed her arms and gave them both an annoyed glare.

“You both promised you wouldn’t ditch me like that again.”

“It wasn’t my idea.” Alex said, completely throwing all the blame onto Louis. Louis shrugged; she could care less what happens for the rest of the evening now.

“Yeah, it wasn’t so fun after a while.” She played it off like her normal self would, not wanting Angie to know where they had been and not wanting anyone to think something was off.

“You’re just so mean, Louis. So mean.”

“Yeah, I know. Let’s go outside before it gets dark out.”

“Okay, Sure.” Angie acted like everything was fine again, the maid shook her head as Alex and Louis passed her.

“Now don’t be getting all dirty, understood?” Louis paused and looked over her shoulder, chin held high, sass to her every move.

“I am the one who makes the rules around here, Ms. Livingston. Do remember that.” Ms. Livingston’s eyes widened as the three kids continued down the hall and downstairs for the remainder of the evening.


	2. Chapter 1: Star-Crossed Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Past has its own way of telling us what we should and shouldn't do in the future. Lou has been caught up on the life she never had for years since she found those journals in her mother's attic. She was caught up by the facts: that her mother leaved her and her father doesn't even know she exists. Sometimes reading those journals forces her to relive an experience she never had, but she was present for.

_June 2 nd, 1879_

_To my sins,_

_It was never my intention to abandon this life of elegance. So dearly was it ingrained into my very soul, as was my child. But, thee’ nature of my leave and the life that I would soon live, it is not worthy of her. Oh Child, my sister will take good care of you. As her standing in high-class society she can provide you with the life that I never appreciated. My love came back to me, the man that would never know who you would be to him, and he mustn’t ever know. It is my time to leave you, to let you grow without a mother that always doubts herself. That doesn’t feel the belonging you deserve. Let it be known that I will not doubt myself on this night, and never again. I know where I belong._

_Oh Child, in these dark times, the moon shines brightest for me. The sun will shine for you. Take part that when you are old enough to understand this journal entry you will understand that. That I loved you with all my heart, and to give you what you needed most I had to leave…. It all started, when he sent me a letter… My Dutch…_

“…So as you can see, Oh Sweet and Ever so Beautiful, Ms. Peters, I have returned to Garrison Waters not for business matter alone, but to gaze upon you yet again with my own two eyes. For you I refuse to let leave from my thoughts, for you are like the fires of my loin and the longing in my heart. I wish to see you at our usual meeting place at the ole’ oak tree on cattle drive as the moon hangs heavy in the sky. I look forward to seeing you, my Sweet and Ever so Beautiful, Annabelle Peters. Yours always and Forever, Dutch Van Der Linde.” Annabelle fell back into her bed, it bounced beneath her. She smirked up at the ceiling and sighed with heartache. “Oh, Ms. Livingston, he has returned to save me from this miserable prison. Isn’t he such a sweet man?”

“Now, Ms. Peters, I don’t like the sound of this man. He be dangerous. His words are like a Snake. I don’t think you should go.” Annabelle sat up on her forearms to consider her servant. Annabelle was bare naked after having taken a bath that Ms. Livingston had ran for her. Ms. Livingston neatly folding Annabelle’s bedtime clothes onto the foot of the bed.

“You don’t know my Dutch like I do. He would never hurt me.”

“Ms. Peters, you a married woman now, with child. You can’t be going around with strange, dangerous men in the night. What would yo’ mother think?” Annabelle fiddled with the letter in her hands, intently looking at it. An ominous glow illuminated her soft features, her long brown hair rolling over her bare shoulders, and her bright blue eyes pondering a deep sadness.

“My mother hated Dutch. She didn’t approve of him because he was one of the lower folks.”

“Exactly, you know she would disapprove of this. Even you accepting the letter was a bad idea.” Annabelle rolled her eyes and turned onto her back again.

“My mother is dead now, she has no say in what I do with my life.”

“No, but your husband does. The father of your child.” Annabelle’s expression tightened, she sat up and held the letter tighter to her chest, wrinkling the paper.

“Yes…” She muttered with a gulp, “The father of my child.” She placed the letter on the bed and came to stand, walking around to the foot of the bed and harshly grabbing the neatly folded clothes. “I think you forget your place, Ms. Livingston, please leave.” Ms. Livingston huffed, she turned on her feet and started towards the door. “And, do check on Lou for me. Make sure she is well.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Annabelle waited until the door was closed, she held her night gown up and thought for a moment. Dutch would be waiting for her; she could leave right now and be there in time to come running into his arms. There was this conflict in her, pulling her around. Would she stay and fall prey to this lifestyle of obedience and imprisonment? Or would she go see Dutch and if for a moment, get to see the man she loved? Annabelle placed the nightgown down on the bed. She had made her decision. She was going to wear the red dress. That was always his favorite.

_And so, I snuck out into the night, grabbed a horse from the stables and rode to that ole’ oak tree out on cattle drive. I rode faster than the wind could blow, and as I suspected, he was waiting there for me…_

“Well, aren’t you a goddamned bundle of beauty, come here.” Dutch held his arms open, dismounting her horse, she rushed right into them. Dutch had set everything up, just like it was the last time she had seen him; a blanket was laid out under the tree, a lantern lit and sitting beside it, his Arabian off in the distance. Dutch drew back and cupped Annabelle’s face in his rough hands, he leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her lips. Even though she was married, she couldn’t deny Dutch’s sweet touch. It was her ultimate weakness, being this close to him and smelling him. It was almost as if she could forget everything that had happened between them so long ago. “It’s been so long.” He helped her down to the blanket, she lifted the red skirts of her dress so she could sit for more easily. His eyes traveled down over her bare neck, where the neckline cut off at her shoulders and revealed her well-endowed figure.

“I know, I missed you so much.” It made her sad. “Why did you send for me, Dutch? Why am I here?”

“Well, why are you here? Why am I here?” He snorted under his breath, eventually moving to sit beside her. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and drew her closer to his chest. “I am here, because I-“ He nodded his head. “I missed you too. God, I missed you so much. I missed your smile and your quirky laughter.”

“Yeah, but I’m sure you’ve had plenty of other girls to fill in for me.” Dutch cocked his head to the side, a guilty look splashed onto his mustached expression.

“I would never lie to you. I tried, but no lady has ever even compared to you.” He pinched her chin between his thumb and finger. “Oh, those crystal eyes and plush lips. You complete me, doll.”

“So…” Annabelle fiddled with her thumbs, removing her chin from his grasp and looking down at her lap. “You’ve come to stay?”  
  
“Uh, Actually, I want you to come with me.” Her eyebrows furrowed and she shook her head.

“Last time you left me behind, saying that your lifestyle wasn’t for me.” He pursed his lips, eyes narrowing on her expression.

“I understand, you have every right to be upset with me for that. I just wasn’t sure if I could protect you, but I know now that I can. Nothing will ever happen to you when you are at my side.” She closed her eyes; she was trying to hold back tears. She wished he had stayed or had come to this conclusion long before leaving her. Things would have been different.

“Things have changed Dutch, its been well over a year ya’know?”

“Yes, I know. And all that time, wasted because I was a goldarned fool. I didn’t realize what I had in front of me.” The wind blew, strands from Annabelle’s bun flittered in the breeze. She huddled up closer to Dutch’s body for heat, he placed his hand on her bare shoulder and caressed the skin there.

“I am married now.” Dutch’s body tensed up; she could hear his breath hitch in his throat. She had been taken from him because he was foolish. He was too late.

“Do-Do you have a child?”

_He can never know…_

“No, we never consummated the marriage.” _I told him the truth but tainted with so many lies…_ Dutch immediately lightened up, releasing a breath that he didn’t know he was holding.

“That’s good then, the marriage means nothing if he didn’t make love to you.” He grinned, tilting her head to face him again. “That belongs to me still, doesn’t it?”  
  
“Oh Dutch, that will always belong to you.”

“Look this is your opportunity…” Dutch stood up, he held his hand out to her and she politely accepted it. She was still so unsure of herself. “Come with me, come join my gang. They’ve met you before, they love you. Break from your oppressors, my dear. Be with me.”

_His chocolate eyes filled a place in my soul that I didn’t know was empty, his soft but rough touch, his meaningful words. How could I deny him? But what would happen to my Lou? What about my family? These things ran through my mind as I contemplated his request…_

“I will never leave you again, Annabelle. I swear on my father’s grave, I will never leave you ever again.” He whispered this, his words bleeding into the moonlit air, straight into her ears.

“Yes, I – Yes, just let me go get my things.” Dutch was so happy. He wrapped his arms around Annabelle and lifted her off the ground. He slammed her lips against hers and bent her back slightly, sending her way a passionate kiss to show her how much he meant every word.

“Alrighty, meet me back here when you finish. We have to be back to camp before sundown.” She smiled at him, her chest heaving with excitement. They shared one last kiss before she left.

_I held her in my arms, my beautiful child, a product of my greatest love. I held you in my arms, but it hurt. I didn’t understand. I am doing what is best for you, but leaving you is a lot to bare. I know I would always think of my little girl, I would always think of you. You will be safe here…_

“Madame Annabelle?” Annabelle lifted her gaze from her journal writing, she was still in the baby’s nursery. Ms. Livingston entered the room, confused and concerned, she approached Annabelle. “Are you alright?”  
  
“Of course, just spending some time with my child. Is that a problem

  
“Did you leave the estate, ma’am?”

“I-I did, and I will be leaving again shortly.”  
  
“I noticed, your bags are packed.” Annabelle continued writing the last few lines of her journal entry. She closed the book and handed it to Ms. Livingston.  
  


“It’s none of your business, Ms. Livingston. Take all my journals and items upstairs to the attic. Hide them there. I do not want my sister to know of them.” Annabelle walked over to the crib, she began rocking it back and forth as her beautiful child slept.

“You are leaving, I presume? For good?”  
  
“Yes, but you-“ She took a deep breath, glancing over her shoulder at the shocked maid. “You didn’t see me.”

“Yes, Ma’am.” Ms. Livingston turned to go do what was requested of her, she stopped at the doorway and turned to face Annabelle again. “I will watch over the child, Annabelle. She’s such a happy little baby. I promise she will be safe with us.” Annabelle knew of Ms. Livingston’s concerns., was the child staying? Or Leaving? Annabelle already knew the answer, but it hurt to admit it.  
  
“Don’t worry, I am not taking her.” Ms. Livingston seemed relieved, but so very disappointed in Annabelle’s demeanor.

“Annabelle, if it means anything-“

“That’s enough. I have to leave, do as I asked immediately.” Ms. Livingston bowed her head and then fled the room. Annabelle took one look at her child, before saying goodbye forever.

 _… My sister will take care of you and teach you the proper way to be a lady. If only I had been so able to simply be happy with the cards I was dealt, but riches and aristocrats were never my style. I hope that perhaps, in safety, that one day they will appeal to my daughter. That one day she will understand why I did what I did. I love her with all my heart. I love you, Louis Ann Van Der Linde_.

“Louie?” Her bright blue eyes snatched up across the fire, straight towards Alex. He was just coming back from getting more firewood, he placed it down beside the fire, adjusting his belt as he did so. “What’s wrong?” Louis closed her mother’s journal and shoved it back into her satchel. “Reading your mother’s journals again?”

“Just the one.” Louis directed her gaze back down at the fire, crossing her legs and picking at the grass.

“You get so held up over that stuff. It’s in the past.”  
  


“I mean…” She reached up and removed the white cow skin Stetson from atop her head, the crickets chirped, and the fire crackled in her brief pause. “It bothers me that, my mother never wanted me to live this way.”

“But it’s what makes you happy. It’s what you were born to do.” He reasoned, he started stirring the stew that was hanging above the fire, preparing bowls for them both.

“She’s out there somewhere, thinking that I am snug in bed at that horrid estate, with everything I could ever wish for.”

“Ey, this soft, dirt ground is better anyways.” He looped around the fire, handing her a bowl before plopping down next to her. He weaved his fingers through his red hair, before starting to scarf down the food in between his words. “And the stars…” He looked out to the clearing that was not far from the wooded forest they had found themselves in, they were right on the edge of it. “Yeah, I reckon if we head out to that field right now, we will see some stars.” He glanced back at her, nudged her with his elbow and a sheepish smile appeared on her lips. “There it is.” He chuckled. “Sweetheart, we left nothing behind there. Everything we ever could need is here.”

“Yeah, I know, but I just don’t want her to be disappointed.”

“Disappointed?” He nearly coughed on his food; he was eating so fast. “By God, she would be proud of you. And your father too. Dutch Van Der Linde’s daughter does not disappoint. We’ve heard tales about his gang, they don’t differ much from our own jobs that we pull, wouldn’t ya’ say?”

“I guess so.” Alex placed his bowl down swiftly and pushed her harder this time, with both hands and full force. She allowed her sitting body to flop to the side, her cheek pressed to the dirt.  
  
“Get up ya’ sorry ass.” It was then resorted to a different tactic. He started tickling her.

“No! ALEX!” She burst out into laughter, giggles filling the silent woods. She eventually scooted back away from him, some of her hair falling from its bun. They both sat there, breathes heaving and dopey smiles on their faces. Within seconds, he jumped to his feet and she followed, she darted out towards the clearing. “Noo.” She laughed, where she breached the edge of the wood and he tackled her to the ground. They both rolled around, wrestling each other in the dirt for a win. They both came back to their feet, breathless. Alex wrapped his arm around Louis and they both looked up at the night sky, covered in tiny little specs that were stars.

“Look Louie, doll.” She looked down to him and they both held each other’s sharp gazes. “I don’t know where we are supposed to be, but this feels too damn right to be wrong. I am a sidekick to one of the best gunslingers in all this world and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would follow you to the end.” Her eyebrows softened, tears nearly flowing from her eyes and she smiled.

“I am glad you’re here, Alex. I am glad you came with me.” She pressed herself to him for a caring embrace, the man who she would always call her brother and her heart. He would always be there with her, in all her doubts and mistakes, in all her confidence and victories. She wouldn’t want it any other way. They both walked back to the camp. She thought about the stories her mother wrote of in her journals. Stories dating back as far as Lou’s age now, and Lou wanted to make her own stories. She didn’t know where her parents were now, but she knew then that it didn’t matter. All that mattered was this: Alex and her, two kid gunslingers making a name for themselves.


	3. Chapter 2: For Riches and For Fame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou and Alex have grown up, they are still as young and foolish as they had been years before. They are infamous for their bank robbings and money schemes. Now they are faced with a predicament far different from what they had ever been faced with before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that Dutch will be in the story soon. I just want everyone to get acquainted with Lou's backstory and what drives her to do the things she does. I hope that is okay and that you guys are enjoying this so far. I want you guys to believe that she is Dutch's daughter and in order to do that I believe she needs a slow introduction. The timeline that I have detailed so far is below:
> 
> 1878: Lou Van Der Linde is born, unbeknownst to the Father  
> 1879: Annabelle leaves to join the Van Der Linde Gang  
> 1890: Lou finds out about the truth in the attic  
> 1892: She flees her Aunt with her best friend Alex  
> 1897: Current Story line

_5 years later... The year is 1897..._

Two strangers standing across from a bank, nothing more; a man and a woman, both appearing to be of a higher class. The woman wearing a two piece, rather expensive dress. The gown stretched over her boots, which were hidden beneath it. The top piece was a white, baggy button up shirt and the bottom was dark green, rippling down to the floor. It complimented her black hair, which was strung up into a messy bun beneath a large feathery hat, and her soft skin. The man beside her was significantly taller, he had bright red hair and a thick mustache. He was wearing a black button up shirt with a vest and a pair of long black dress pants over nice dress shoes. Atop his head was a black stetson hat, it shaded his hazel eyes that were staring out across to the bank. They had bandannas tied around their necks.

"This the place?" He asked without turning his head in the younger maiden's direction.

"Yes."

"You sure?" He cocked his head over finally and she shook her head.

"I think I would know, Alex." She returned in a snarky tone, crossing her arms and leaning on her hip. Carriages moved back and forth over the road, wealthy folk entered the bank at the front and exited with more errands to complete for the day. They both stood under a porch, the shade keeping them from having to endure the blistering hot sun.

"Just checking..." He paused for a moment, placing his hands on his hips. "And that's Alfred Grey to you, Missy." She rolled her eyes with this grin that appeared on her face.

"Yes, whatever Mr. Alfred Grey." They both watched the bank for another moment, or so.

"Alrighty, let's do this!" Alex slapped his hands together and as he made his first step forward, Lou held a hand out and stopped him. Her bright blue eyes focused on a lanky man making his way towards the bank. He was the bank manager. She knew it instantly because she had been watching him for well over a week. Her eyes zoned in on both Parker and Jenkins, additions they had made to their group three years ago. The two men were standing on the eiher side of the bank at the columns, look outs for the law when the robbing went down.

"Let the lady handle this one. Signal the men to be ready."

"Sure thing, Louie. Be careful." She stepped out into the sun, trailing across the street, careful not to step out in front of any carriages. She made a b-line for the bank manager's path. He was a much older man, carried a cane to help himself stay balanced. She faked a trip over the wooden bank steps and fell into him, letting out an obnoxious huff.

"Oh my dear, Sir, I am so sorry. I deeply apologize." Her voice was suddenly British, the transition was smooth and languid. If anyone British was nearby, they never would have guessed. The man steadied himself, her hands hanging on his forearm as she did the same. "I am such a goose, very clumsy at times. I do apologize." The gentleman that he was raised an eyebrows at her. She was absolutely gorgeous and no man, not even a married one, could resist her charms. She smiled a toothy grin at him and then grabbed the top half of her skirt.

"W-Well, uh, my darling, you are very well. It was my fault for being in your way."

"No, no it was all my fault, but thank you for your consideration." She spun on her heels, leaving the bank manager in confusion and started back towards Alex. Alex crossed his arms, he smugly bowed to her.

"Oh the darling, Ms. Louis." He teased, she reached her fist out and opened it to reveal a large key. "Brilliant and charming as ever." Alex removed his hand and placed it over his heart, accepting the key with the other hand.

"So, you know the plan? Everything has to go a certain way or else it will be too late and we'll all be hanging by sunset."

"Yes, I know. Don't worry, we know the plan. It'll work out." She took a deep breath, then reached her arm out to Alex. He gladly accepted it and they both started towards the bank together. Parker and Jenkins nodded at them, getting ready for what was to come. Alex held the door open for Lou as they both entered the bank. It was small, but contained a lot of cash. There was a desk at the front, where the tellers did their work and just as Lou suspected, no bars. There was a vault in the far back, desks laid out on either side in rows, where customer service was available. The manager was discussing with one of the tellers, it appeared he was in disarray about the key. There were five customers; two were in fancy attire, certainly wealthy people, but as for the other three they were definitely not of the wealthy sort. Lou thought nothing of it, whoever they were, everyone would cough up some cash.

Alex and Lou made eye contact and they both separated, lifting the bandanas over their faces. Lou removed her pistols from the slits at the sides of her skirts and she raised them up towards the desk.

"EVERYBODY REMAIN CALM! WE ARE JUST MAKING A QUICK WITHDRAWAL!" But something was wrong, the three other strangers lifted their guns and everyone was pointing something at someone. Click. A pistol was cocked behind her, pointed right at her head.

"Not so fast, little lady, we were here first." The tellers panicked, everyone aiming guns at everyone and they dropped behind the front desk.

"I reckon that's not true, Sir. We've been watching this bank for a little over a week now. We aren't leaving without money."

"Calico, set the bombs. Ranger and Black Bird, rally em' folk up."

"Not so fast!" Alex pulled out his second pistol, successfully aiming both his guns at the two other men, instead of at the tellers. Lou raised her gun at the third, the fourth was one she didn't see. It was the one she didn't count that could have changed everything. She could have stood there defeated, but her mind was rifling for a new plan.

"Guns down, or I shoot her." The deep voice of the man behind her, the one she forgot.

"If you shoot her, I will make you hurt." Alex threatened angrily, the bank manager came forward slowly with his hands raised.

"Listen, all of you, if you just remain cal-"

"Shut up, old man! You get back to your desk, ya' here." The booming voice sounded, Louis did not flinch. She kept her guns raised, refused to move and make the man behind her any more anxious. "Now! Little lady, tell your men to back down, or I will kill you dead and then I will kill them too."

"I have a better idea."

"Lou!" Alex hissed, signaling that she needed to hurry up. The echoes of voices outside were growing, the commotion would warrant the law soon.

"And what exactly would that be?"

"I reckon you were gonna blow that vault door right open."

"Yes, that I was. All that money inside belongs to me. Ain't nothing gonna change that." The barrel of the gun pressed against the back of her head harder, she ground her teeth together.

"Well, you see I'm not so messy. I have the key."

"Be a nice little lady and hand it over then." She spun around, successfully pushing his aim up and the gun fired at the ceiling. Both their men only grew more anxious, she shoved his against the wall and aimed her guns at him. The third man behind her was moving to tackle her and stopped as soon as she directed her second pistol at him, without even looking his way. The man before her, the ring leader, who was leaning up against the wall now with his own gun pointed at her again, grinned. A deep chuckle exited his lips, Lou did not react. The top half of her face, free from the black bandanna remained completely still.

He wasn't the type of man she expected to see. He was a lot more cleaner than the other folk. Salt and pepper stubble coated his cheeks, dark brown eyes and a sharp nose. His brown hair curled out from under his own hat. He was wearing a button up plaid blue shirt, a velvet red vest, brown chaps and rusty boots. He took a step closer and both her fingers cocked her pistols, her eyes sharpening on his figure.

"Damn, look at those eyes. Blue as the goddamned sky, perhaps even bluer." She didn't acknowledge his words, she wasn't going to distract her from the task at hand. "Look, we outnumber you-"

"No," She lowered her gun quick to aggressively pull down her bandanna. "You fucking look and you look well. I will shoot you where you stand, my skill and my men's skills outnumber you by tenfold. We were here first and this is my job. If you want to share, I am willing to work with you on that but right now we have bigger fish to fry. Look outside! In the next five minutes or so there will be at least a dozen lawmen out there. They are gathering up, and getting ready, and we are sitting here like chickens with our heads cut off. So you suck that shit up and let's go get the cash, we will discuss the terms afterwards! For now, my men and I, will have half and you the other half. That will be the current agreement. Do you understand?" His eyes widened, they both stared at each other for a while before the stranger nodded his head.

"Alright, boys, you heard the little lady. We have to get moving."

"But, bo-" The one named Ranger protested, it was swiftly interrupted.

"What did I say?!" Ranger lowered his head in submission and nodded.

"Fine." From then on it was a team effort, surprisingly it was a good team effort, but with everyone being cautious and prejudice towards one another. They opened the vault, carried the money out and split it as directed. Within a few minutes they were out of the bank and riding off in separate directions. It turns out that Parker and Jenkins had ditched Alex and Lou because they were afraid. Alex and Lou didn't care about it that much, they had plenty split between them and this new group. It was nice not having an extra two souls to share it with. They hoped they wouldn't see them again.

They rode off at sunset and set up a camp not far from the river in the open plains. They washed their clothing and hung it up on the branches of a single tree, sitting alone nearby. The fire illuminated their small encampment, sleeping cloths laid out on either side of the fire at a safe distance. Lou came back from around the tree, she was changing after taking a rinse in the river. Her damp hair resting over her shoulder, she was wearing a baggy red button up shirt and a pair of riding pants with short heeled boots that ended below the knee.

"Urgh Alex," He was hunched over the fire, sitting criss cross and carving into a wooden log. She leaned over Alex's back from behind and slopped her weight onto him. "I'm so happy to be out of that stupid dress." He silently continued carving the log and she stood up, removing around the fire to sit across from him.

"You're still upset with me? Is that how its gonna be?" She sat up on her knees and crossed her arms. "Look at me ya' Dumb Goose."

"I can't look at you because then I won't be upset with ya' anymore."

"What did I do wrong?" She laughed, then plopped down onto her bed cloth. She propped her head on her hand, laying on her side.

"You know." He pouted, she dropped onto her back with a sigh, looking up into the stars.

"Yeah, whatever you say I guess." She knew that by ignoring his tantrum, he would eventually come out with it. It was a silent for a moment, that did the trick.

"You liked that son of a bitch." She turned onto her side again and smirked at him, biting her bottom lip mischievously. He was looking at her now, gazing at every part of her face that she knew he admired. He had stopped carving for the sake of looking at her, showing her how hurt he was.

"No, I didn't." Her cheeks turned a slight tinge of red, the fire accentuating it with slight undertones of bronze light.

"Yes, you did."

"No."

"Yes." She looked down at the ground, nibbled on her bottom lip in deep thought.

"And so what if I did? He was very handsome."

"But what about me?"

"We've talked about you." She sat up, laughing again, almost teasing him really. "I love you, Alex, but I love you as a brother." He lowered his head and started carving at the wood again.

"A brother that has seen you naked dozens of times, I have nursed you back to health at your sickest, I have even slept with you in my arms. Yeah, I'm a brother alright." Her expression softened, her lips fell from a smile and she glanced down at the fire.

"Ya'know no other man can replace you. Does that make you feel better?"

"If you fall in love with another man, he very much will replace me. Love does that."

"Not the love that I have for you. That love will never be replaced." Her words were gentle, they meant wonders to Alex's ears but he wasn't going to admit it. Ever since they were kids he had always had a crush on Louis. He had always been there for her. He had always been willing to die for her. He wished she felt the same. He wished he could hold her in his arms and kiss her plush lips and call her his own, but she was free to be with any one else. She would never be with him. "And besides, you know I will never marry, right? When people fall in love they marry and I won't be dealing with that horse shit. Can you imagine?" Alex couldn't help but snort.

"No, I can't. You'd be the worst wife..." She thought he had finished and then fell back to the ground to lay down, fluffing up her pillow. "But with the right man, you'd be the perfect woman." She closed her eyes and sighed.

"Alex, I-" The gallops of horses approaching them caused them both to jump to their feet on alert. They grabbed their guns and had them at the ready. They were definitely outnumbered this time. Four men surrounded the camp, rounding it with their horses. It was the same four men they had bumped into at the bank. Luckily Lou and Alex never kept the money with them at camp, they always put it somewhere else.

"Well, my oh my, you really are a goddamned beauty, ain'tchya?" The stranger hopped down to the ground and approached, the sounds of his spurs hitting the dirt in the silence, as he went.

"Stay away from her." Alex raised his gun towards the man, but one of the members got up behind him on the horse and aimed it at the back of his head. Lou stood tall, puffing her chest out to assert that she confident and unafraid.

"I could'a swore you had other friends, didn't ya?"

"Yeah, they'll be back soon." He stepped closer and Lou raised her gun, she could only grab one in the commotion, to have him keep his distance. His eyes analyzed every feature on her face as he was close enough to do so. He shook his head.

"Na, I don't think they will be." Lou thought she was a good liar, but this man saw right through her. "How about we sit down and, uh, have a talk, you and I?"

"Why?"

"Because I feel inclined to believe that our combined efforts would be..." He raised his eyes to the sky to think for a moment. "Profitable."

"You mean..." She lowered her gun, the look of pure confusion on her face. "We work together?"

"Exactly."

"Well," She gulped, glancing over her shoulder at Alex. "Alex and I are in this as a duo. Let him go, he'll be part of this decision too."

"Of course," The man waved to his gang member and the man carried himself away om his horse. Alex remained tight and cautious, he wasn't going to let anything happen to Lou. "Now, sweetheart, let's start this from the beginning again. My name is Jax Kistler, and you would be?" He held his hand out, she looked at it with an investigative eye, then presented her most polite smile. She took his hand with her free one and shook it.

"Louis Ann Van Der Linde."

"Familiar name you got there." He noted, cocking his head to the side with interest. Her lips quirked up slightly and she gave a slight nod of her head.

"Ha, I know."


	4. Chapter 3: The American Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex never agreed to the partnership with Jax's gang, but he respected Lou's decision none the less. Since then, Lou had thought that Alex had adjusted to the new changes. Little did she know he was holding in a lot of pent up resentment for Lou and for Jax. This puts a strain on their relationship as the two clash over their differences in opinions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1878: Lou Ann Van Der Linde is born, unbeknownst to the Father  
> 1879: Annabelle leaves to join the Van Der Linde Gang  
> 1890: Lou finds out about the truth in the attic  
> 1892: She flees her Aunt with her best friend Alex  
> 1897: They meet Jax, Lou and Jax join forces

It was weeks after the bank robbery of Saint Marlo. Lou agreed with forming up an alliance with Jax and his gang, against Alex’s approval. She strongly believed that pairing with Jax could mean more profits for them. She also had a bit of a crush on Jax. In the few weeks they had all been camping together and celebrating the hearty victory in Saint Marlo, she had learned a lot about him and his three other men. Those three other men had real names, and they weren’t Ranger, Calico and Black Bird; they were Richard, Carson and Brian. They were fun, and after haven’t grown a little closer to them, things had lightened up around the camp. Jax and Lou had decided it would be best to lay low and with their combined funds they were able to split something for everyone and provide the luxuries of wealth. They had managed to attain tons of food, tons of whiskey, and plenty of other things at their disposal.

Overtime Alex had also gotten more warmed up to Jax and his gang. He constantly complained about the little things, but Lou had hope that Alex would come to accept that things were going to remain this way for a while. They traveled during the day and at night, got drunk and told stories around the campfire. Lou was starting to feel comfortable with these people, who were once known as strangers. In the Fall, they eventually found themselves closer to this old mining town called Annesburg, in the New Hanover territory. Lou and Alex had been migrating South for a long time, so much so that they knew that they were as far as they could be from Garrison Waters. Neither of them ever wanted to see that god-forsaken town ever again. They set up camp near this river that ran down the mountain towards town. It was a nice set up, with plenty of deer and moose to hunt for food. Not to mention, the weather was perfect. Lou felt so at peace as the wind brushed her cheeks and the shade provides just the right amount of the sun’s rays.

Lou was pacing up and down the side of the river with a book in her hands, both feet bare and covered in damp dirt. Her pant legs were rolled up, her white button up shirt to her elbow and slightly unbuttoned to reveal the bindings over her breasts. She was biting her bottom lip, intently tracing her eyes across the words on each page. Her hair was half put up into a bun, part of it draping over the side of her face. In the background, Alex was sitting at this table with the other gang members. They were playing cards. Jax was laying on his cot, under his opened tent, his hat was sitting over his face. He was listening to the sound of the woods around them, enjoying the peaceful quiet. Lou’s expression transformed from serious focus into pure bliss. She closed the book over her thumb, ensuring that her page was saved.

“God, America’s absolutely amazing, boys! The land of the free, free of action and free of restraint.” She exclaimed, her voice echoing over the sound of the running river. Jax let out a groan as he sat up, he placed his hat beside him and considered Lou with a groggy look. She turned to him and her smile widened. “I love him. I love Evelyn Miller and the American Inferno. It’s such a fire burning within my soul.” She skipped over to Jax’s cot and hopped onto it beside him, nearly crushing his hat. He continued to stare at her with a groggy blank expression. “Look, Jax.” She opened the book to the page where her thumb was and excitedly held the book out to him. She read the first few lines of the book: “We are actions and the thoughts upon actions, neither one nor other. We are free neither from action, nor thought. Our humanity can only be understood if we embrace both the animal and the god within us.” Jax nodded his head, but he really didn’t understand a damn thing she was saying. “Isn’t that so beautiful?”

“Well, Tickseed…” The nickname he had given her. “I am not a very poetic man, but I suppose that’s really beautiful if you think so.” She closed the book completely and moved her legs over the side of the cot to sit properly. Jax snorted, eyes looking her up and down with amusement.

“It’s fantastic.” She breathed.

“I would disagree, Louie,” A voice came from someone at the table, it was Alex. He allowed his hair to grow out longer, it was a bit longer than his ears and he had grown a thick red beard. He glanced over his shoulder, as Lou and Jax were sitting behind him. “This country is free, but certainly not for women.” Lou knew that Alex was right. She would never be able to vote, or have her voice in the political landscape, but she wished it was that way.

“Maybe Lou can’t vote, but she is still free in my book. Free to be whoever she wants to be and do whatever she wants. That’s the kind of freedom that this Miller guy speaks of.” Jax’s words made her feel a bit more enlightened. He was only trying to make her feel a bit more encouraged.

“Yes, that’s exactly what he is saying, Jax.” She said, looking dreamily into his eyes. He always knew what to say to make her feel better it seemed.

“No, Lou isn’t free. Is free being constantly criticized every time she enters a town wearing pants?” Alex stood up from the table, placing his cards facing down so no one could cheat. “Lou, I don’t mean to upset you, but that’s not free. You can’t be who you want to be if you have a bunch of naysayers.” Lou lifted her chin slightly, she hated the naysayers, but they didn’t determine who she was.

“You’re wrong, Alex. I don’t care what they think. When I lift more and drink more and stand stronger than any man in that town, that is when I feel most confident. Of course, they are going to be naysaying, but that won’t stop me.”

“What about that time we went to Stanville?” This was long before Lou and Alex had run in with Jax and his gang. “As soon as we entered that town, there were five or so lawmen on our tail. Turns out the law said that women couldn’t be wearing that sort of clothing, that women couldn’t have a gun or cut their hair. Now is that free.” Lou stood up, she held the book to her chest and glared at Alex.

“It’s not…” She said with weaker words. “But I wear a dress when I choose, and I didn’t have to live in that stinky town.”

“Yeah, so you choose, my ass. You wear a dress on heists because you know you can rob banks much easier when people regard you as a woman, don’t lie to yourself. They think you are weaker.” Jax was about to intrude, he didn’t like Alex’s tone at all. Lou was getting aggravated, it was like Alex was out to get her.

“What is your problem, Alex?! Yeah, so what? I like to wear dresses on heists, I figure I am a woman I might as well utilize that to the best of my advantage.”

“Yeah, but you hate dresses. You would rather go naked than wear a dress, so if you didn’t care so much about what anybody else thought, why wear a dress, Lou?”

“What exactly are saying here, Alex?” She growled, tossing her book onto Jax’s cot behind him. By now the game of poker had paused, the men were paying their full attention to the argument before them.

“I’m saying…” He emphasized it between clenched teeth. “That you do care what people think. Everything you do is because you are trying to uphold this image of yourself, you call that free?” She stormed up to Alex, right up to his face.

“And what about you, you big phony?” She spat, “All you do is try to be manly and strong, deep down inside you are weak and fragile. You are just too afraid to admit it.”

“Well, I am more of a man than you will ever be, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, I am fully aware.” She then lifted it her knee up between his legs, hard enough to cause some damage. The others let out resounding winces, Alex hunched forward, grabbing his balls in splintering pain. “You giant piece of horse shit.” She turned and started walking down the river, quick steps leaving behind angry footprints in the dirt. Alex lifted his gaze to Jax, who was giving him a look of disappointment.

“I think you should suck up that pain and apologize. Otherwise she will never forgive ya’.” Jax then moved to lay back down on his cot, picking up Lou’s book behind him and placing it on the box beside him. Alex slowly came to his feet after a few minutes, he looked out after Lou and then started marching in her direction. Her heavy footprints guided him to wear she sat on a rock on the edge of the water, dipping her feet into where the water open up into a tiny pool before flowing down the mountain further. He was trying to be slow and quiet with his movements, but a snap of the branches beneath his boots caused her to shoot her eyes in his direction.

“Go away, Alex.” She crossed her arms and turned her body further to the side, so that he was out of her sight. She was trying to hide her tears, the quiet and steady tears streaming down her face. Alex stood there for a moment, this awkwardness engulfing himself as he stared at her back.

“Louie, I am sorry. I took it a bit far.”  
  
“You did.” He took that response as his chance to move forward, finding some trouble in navigating the rocks to the larger rock that she was sitting curled up on. He leaned into a seat on the rock, their backs facing each other. “You hear that?” She asked, Alex strained his ears to listen for anything out of the ordinary.

“What?” She came to stand and reached her hand out to him. He was surprised that she wasn’t more upset with him about this matter. He accepted her hand and allowed her to lead him further downstream. The stream started to grow thicker and thicker, this rushing noise growing louder and louder. She stopped him at the edge of a waterfall, overlooking these giant plains and sharp desert hills.

“It’s beautiful.” He said, she made a noise in agreement. He knew then that her anger had dissipated, but he had really hurt her. “Lou, I made you something.” He reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a wooden shard. It was carved delicately with swirly symbols and smooth edges; twine ran through the top of it and turned it into a necklace of sorts. She reached her hand out and grabbed the wooden trinket, the one that she realizes he had been carving for a while now. “I was going to give it to ya’ on your birthday, but you said you didn’t want anything special.” She tugged on it so he would let go of the twine and held it in the palm of her hand, looking down on it. “If you recognize the wood, it belonged to the Ole’ Oak tree on cattle drive.”

“You saved a piece of wood for that long?”

“No, I went back and got it myself.”

“But, how? I would have noticed you were gone for that long.” Her thumb caressed the wood in her fingers.

“Remember when you were sick with fever? It took you a week to recover, doctor said that you were probably not going to make it.”

“Yes,” She thought long and hard about those times. That was nearly two years ago. “And you had that old lady take care of me for a few days at the Hills House.”

“Yes,” He gave her a soft smile. “I left for about four days; I did nothing but ride. I can’t believe my horse made it. I starved myself, dehydrated myself, rode to Garrison Waters and grabbed the wood then. By then we were far from that town, but not as far as now.”

“But why? For a piece of wood? What if I had died? What if you had died?”

“That tree was where we decided that we were going to change our lives. We grew under that tree; you, reading me stories from your mother’s journal, me, trying to shoot squirrels going up the tree with that pistol, us, both dreaming about a life outside of the prison we were in. It grew with us and its growing with us now. Do you remember?” Lou clenched her fingers around the wood, and she closed her eyes, she nodded her head. “I love you, Lou. I have told you so many times before, and every time you deny me it doesn’t change a damn thing, I still love you. But sometimes I feel like I have lost you, like this just isn’t what is was anymore.” She immediately doubled back, as though she had been pulled into a trance, she was immediately pulled out of it. She didn’t feel that way at all. She felt like she still had that same connection with Alex, but why wasn’t he feeling that way?

“What are you talking about, Alex?”

“We just don’t have the same bond anymore. It appears I have been replaced.” Lou felt a wave of emotions run through her, she felt guilty and sad, angry, and confused.

“Just say it, Alex.” She shot out; a bit sharper than she intended for it to sound.

“Say, what?”

“It’s Jax. Say it.” Alex opened his mouth, but no words came out. He was naked to her eyes, his soul opened like a book for her to read. “You are jealous, and you have always been jealous.” She grabbed his hand and brought it up, squeezing the wood necklace between his fingers and closing his hand into a fist. “No matter how many times I tell you, your insecurities will always have precedence over my reassurances. I love you too, Alex, but this needs to stop. I like Jax, so what? That doesn’t mean I don’t love you. No one has replaced you. Until you find that out for yourself, I will not accept this. All that time together means nothing if you can’t respect my own feelings on the matter.” She left him there on the edge of that cliff, his hand outstretched with his wood carving sitting snugly inside his fist. He was heartbroken, and she was too. She didn’t realize she was slowly losing a friend.


	5. Chapter 4: Innocence Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou, on the brink of chaos internally, wakes up Jax in the middle of the night for a carriage robbery without the others knowing. Lou is ultimately forced into deciding what type of person she is and wants to be, a decision she's never really worried about making until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1878: Lou Ann Van Der Linde is born, unbeknownst to the Father  
> 1879: Annabelle leaves to join the Van Der Linde Gang  
> 1890: Lou finds out about the truth in the attic  
> 1892: She flees her Aunt with her best friend Alex  
> 1897: They meet Jax, Lou and Jax join forces

Lou knew that Alex would disapprove and that he would be disappointed. She knew that if the other men knew, they too would be more than disapproving about her decisions. It was dark out and all that could be heard was the river flowing down the mountain. Lou had seen a carriage ride through last week at about this time, and she knew that the carriage was scheduled to come around at that same time tonight. It wasn’t just any carriage either. The carriage had money in it. Bankers often moved money at night to prevent any robberies, as robberies often happened during the day in more rural areas like Annesburg. Lou knew she couldn’t do the job alone, and Jax and her had been discussing for weeks that they would have to find a new job soon or money would run tight for them. She was itching to get back out there with a new and improved plan to out due the wealthy and subdue the profits.

Lou slid her boots on, she grabbed her pistols and her hat. She moved silently over to Jax’s cot and attempted to shake him awake. He was a very light sleeper usually; she was surprised that he hadn’t at least cracked an eye open by now. They did have an ofally lot to drink before heading to bed, especially Alex, he had been a wreck ever since Lou and him had fought a few days before. Jax grumbled, opening his eyes slightly, when he saw that it was Lou he immediately sat up. She held a finger to her lips and waved for him to follow her as she backed away.

“Bring your guns with you.” She whispered, Jax was reluctant to follow her instructions, but he did so anyway. He wiped his face with a rag as he exited his tent, tossed it to the side, and came out to stand at the edge of the river with Lou.

“Louie, my sweet, what’s going on here?”

“I will explain everything when we head further downstream, you have what you need?”

“Yeah.” He followed her as she started down the riverbank, she was moving slow enough so as not to cause any commotion or noise. When she felt that they were far enough she stopped and turned around to face Jax.

“I got a new job.”

“Oh, dang, that’s fantastic, Tickseed. What’s the job?”

“It’s coming around the corner pretty soon here, I reckon we can handle it without the others.”

“Without the others?” He looked on with a puzzled face, she ignored his expression and then continued into the forest.

“I just don’t want to deal with that right now. I know that we can do this on our own.”

“Lou, slow down, baby. What’s wrong?” Her footsteps slowed till she came to a stop, and she exhaled a deep breath. Her back still turned to him until he walked around her to stand in front of her.

“I want to do this. Just us. I know that sounds weird and dangerous, but I like this idea.”

“Is it because of Alex? Is this because of what he said?”

“It might be.” She mumbled, then pushing past and continuing her mission forward. He followed closely behind, until he was alongside her as they weaved through trees and taller grassy areas in the forest.

“You want to talk about it?” She glanced over at him and her pace started to slow. She was silent for a moment as she turned the answer to his question in his mind.

“I do.”

“Alright, whenever you are ready.” He assured, with a nod of his head and a brief pat to her shoulder.

“Well, if you didn’t know, Alex loves me.” Jax couldn’t help but let out a laugh, he placed his hands on his belt.

“Yeah, we all just about knew that. Figured you two were a thing, or something.” Lou stopped, she turned to face him and glared.

“We aren’t.” Jax nodded his head as she stated this firmly, it came out as though she was even offended by their insinuation. “But he is jealous. He’s jealous of you.” She then abruptly started marching again, eventually the forest broke into a path, she started on that path.

“Me? Now why would he be jealous of me? Must be some sort of manly thing I suppose.”

“It isn’t kind of.”

“Then, please explain, oh dearest?” He rushed up to meet her pace again, the subject got her so upset that her walking was only increasing, step by step.

“It’s because I like you, it’s because I have a crush on you?” She dropped the bomb almost instantly, gave herself no time to show him the immediate rejection she felt at coming forward with her feelings. He grabbed her arm and tugged her to a halt, drawing her into his chest.

“Is that true?” They both were looking into each other’s eyes. She felt her heart stop and she started to feel sweat riding down the side of her face, but she didn’t know why.

“Yes.” This big grin encapsulated all of Jax’s face and he yanked her arm around his torso. He wrapped his own arms around her waist and proceeded to hug her.

“Me too.” He pulled away for a moment to look at her own widening smile. “Even though I am a decade older than you?”

“You’re still as handsome as ever.” She giggled nervously, her cheeks turning bright red, but it was too dark for anyone to see. They heard horse and carriage in the distance, their heads snapping in the direction of the sound of whips and mangled conversation. “We’ll talk about this later. We don’t have a lot of time.” They both started running out in the direction of the carriage, Lou now feeling more confident than before, ran out into the road and held her guns up. The carriage came to a screeching stop, Jax caught up beside her, holding his guns up the same.

“What is the meaning of this?” The man shouted from his seat. Lou grinned, she was glad that there was only one man that she could see, hopefully it would stay that way.

“Sir, we ask that you dismount the carriage please. We wouldn’t want anybody getting hurt.”

“Oh, I see this is a robbery then?” The man was a lot calmer than Lou expected and this job was starting to look a lot easier than she expected. Jax and Lou came closer to the carriage as the man got off the seat. Lou circled around to check the back and Jax pushed the man down to his knees at the side. She looked at the trunk to find that it needed a key.

“Jax, it needs a key!”

“Well, alrighty then…” He shot at the ground beside the man, the man let out a shrill of panic, he covered his ears. “Where’s the key?!”

“I-I don’t have it! Please! Don’t hurt me!”

“Guess we are doing this the messy way, Tickseed!”

**Bang!**

Lou shot at the trunk, luckily the shot did not spook the horses. It broke the wood of the trunk and she opened it easily. There was a crate inside that Lou had damaged, but luckily the money appeared overall intact. Lou peaked her head around the carriage.

“Looks like we got everything here, Jax!” She holstered her gun and lifted the crate up, it was heavy, but her body had become quite strong over the years, especially after living a man’s life for so long. She carried the crate over to Jax with a sigh and chuckled, walking past him. “Job, well done, we got it.” Jax was frozen in his spot, pointing the gun at the man. She placed the crate down and grabbed his free arm, wrapping hers around it. She smiled at she looked at his stern glare. “Ey, did you hear me? Drop the act. We got the money.”

“Lou,” He tilted his head to consider her. “If we don’t kill this man, he will gladly alert the authorities. We will be on the run again.”

“Yes, but this crate of money was worth that. That’s part of the game, isn’t it? We let the horses loose and we have him walk all the way back to town. It’ll give us plenty of time to move. We have been here long enough anyways.”

“Oh, Tickseed, you are such an innocent little thing, ain’tchya?” She couldn’t look down at the man in front of them, who watching this whole exchange in fear for his life. Lou had killed a man before, but never an innocent one. She had killed men to save her life, and to save Alex’s. She had killed bad men who deserved to face justice and she had killed good men who had done horrible things. Lou squeezed Jax’s arm, a smile no longer sitting on her face. “Part of the game is not getting caught. Of course, you haven’t learned that yet, you are so young.”

“We haven’t got caught though.”

“No, but he is a witness, then they will know what we look like and what then?”

“It’s dark.” She gestured at the men. “No one can really identify us in this darkness.”

“He knows your name is Lou, and he knows my name is Jax.”

“That’s our own fault, not his.” She let out a snort to lighten up the moment, reaching a handout over his own that held the gun out. “He’s just here, killing him for something that isn’t his fault is pointless. He has a family and a life; he would much rather return to that instead of giving out our names and our faces.”

“I-It’s true, I would never say-“

“Shut up!” Jax snarled and the man cowered back, bowing over the dirt. “Lou, we have to kill him.” He was about the pull the trigger.

“Stop!” Jax raised an eyebrow at her, he had not realized that she cared so much. “Just let me do it.” This job was her idea. She didn’t realize it was going to lead to an innocent man’s death and that was her burden to carry.

“You think you can?”

“Yes.” Jax stepped out of the way, Lou took his spot and removed her pistol. She hesitated for a moment as she stared down the barrel of her gun at the man before her. It was in this moment that she questioned her own self, everything she was here for and everything she had ever known. Her mother had never wrote stories of killing innocents, in fact, her father’s gang was considered a group of saviors to some. In his travel he would help people and provide them with what they needed, if they were good people. He was a force of good, a Robin Hood among many. Who was she?

“Lou, we have to head out. Now are you gonna kill him, or what?” A life in crime, a life as a gunslinger, it meant many things. It meant stealing, running, and surviving. Jax was telling her it also meant this, but did it? Did she have to? What did that make her? Scum? Truly everything the law was against? “Goddamit, Tickseed.”

**Bang!**


	6. Chapter 5: The Truth Shall Set You Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou and Jax have become closer since the carriage robbing excursion, much to the expense of Lou's relationship with Alex. In hopes of regaining Lou's favor, he finds a job that could be perhaps beneficial to the group. When no one else trusts in Alex, Lou does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little short, but its mainly because the next few chapters will bare a lot of weight and timing means everything for them. Therefore, this chapter was no longer than it needed to be. Short, but to the point.

Lou was a mess, her moods ranging from overtly happy to extremely sad. She couldn’t figure out why. She typically spent a lot of her time with Jax in his tent. She didn’t want to look Alex in the face. She felt like she wasn’t the same person anymore and she felt like she couldn’t fix that. They remained on that slope of the river. There had been an investigation and the authorities had come by to get their stories, considering their encampment was close to the scene. Luckily the money was always buried someplace near camp, that way it was safe from situations exactly like this one. The lawmen believed their stories and moved on with their lives, another robbery unsolved. The others had been informed way before then and they were not impressed that they had never been told about the overnight excursion. That being said, Alex felt the most left out. The relationship between Lou and Alex was certainly reaching some sort of end. Louis didn’t exactly know what that end was, but she knew it was upon them. The more time she spent with Jax, the more strained her relationship with Alex was.

Lou didn’t know much about romance; she had never been in a romantic relationship with anyone before. In this case, Jax took over. He showed her what it meant to be ‘loved’, loved being in the romantic sense, rather than the friendly one. He teased her about sharing their first kiss together, he teased her about not knowing where to put her hands when they were kissing. He said that she needed to build some confidence and just take what she wanted. This only made her want to prove herself more. She was not some innocent little girl anymore.

One thing she liked about Jax was that he understood the difference between business and romance, that they both were to be carried out at separate times. When they talked about potential jobs with the others, or when they were in the presence of the others, there was this divide between Jax and her. She was always under the impression that being loving with someone, in that way, meant that there would eventually be marriage. Granted that never happened with her father and mother in the beginning, but she always assumed that that certainly was the case in the end. She didn’t want marriage, and this divide that Jax provided meant as such: no marriage, just a “loving” relationship.

Today was as such, the divide between romance and business was in action. Jax discussed his plan to move further South and find more jobs down there. Lou was completely on board, she felt like Annesburg didn’t provide that much. She also was growing tired of the region; she was an explorer at heart and needed to move around. Jax found a map he had bought at the town general store and it was perfect in giving them a better idea of places to rob in close proximity.

“Oh, what about that town? Rhodes?” Lou stated, pointing at Rhodes, a little ride down from Annesburg.

“Yes, that also looks like a lot of railroads go through there.” Brian noted.

“Also, a lot of forestry to camp out in.” Added Carson.

“Alright, Rhodes, it is?” Jax suggested in one last call for the collective decision-making process.

“Wait,” Everyone’s eyes darted to Alex, who was nervously sitting at his place on the log. He was shaving another random wood block he had found.

“Yes, Alex?” Jax appeared more annoyed if anything, Alex was not usually the talker around here. He never really said anything important either in Jax’s opinion. Ever since Lou had told him about Alex’s jealousy towards Jax, he didn’t really like Alex that much anymore. In his mind, Lou was his prize and no one else’s.

“I might have found a lead here.” Lou’s face wrinkled, she had looked far and wide for a lead in Annesburg; aside from the bank there was nothing but an empty money pot.

“If you have something Alex, tell us what it is?” Jax pressed on, everyone else remained silent, intrigued by Alex’s notion.

“I, uh, know this kid. He sits in front of the saloon and asks for spare change a lot. I pulled him aside and paid him to go find something for me. He came back with information. A train, with a shit ton of bonds, making way for Valentine tomorrow night.”

“Valentine? What’s in Valentine?” Brian questioned; a bit confused with the whole story.

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Look, I wouldn’t go around trusting no kid. He could have gone to the law and snitched on you. Next time you do something like that, we ain’t getting you out of trouble.” Jax clarified, he then continued with the plan for the trip to Rhodes. Lou had zoned out; she was intently looking at the misery written all over Alex’s face. She wanted to help him. It was stupid what he did, but she figured it wouldn’t hurt to back him up. They were friends after all, childhood friends.

“Jax.” She interrupted; everyone was then looking at her. Jax was not so annoyed with Lou’s interrupting, but that didn’t mean he liked it. “If Alex is right, then we are missing an opportunity here. Bonds sell for thousands a piece, that would be money in our pockets that could certainly be useful in Rhodes.” She saw the hope in Alex’s eyes, that she was backing him up and being friendly with him again.

“Tickseed, how do you suppose we prove Alex’s word? He got ‘em from a kid for Christ’s sake.”

“We check the roster at the station. They are surely going to have something there. Besides, what will it hurt if we are torn out of the way for a bit. Valentine might be a nice place this time of year.” Jax took a deep breath, obviously trying to draw in his temper.

“Alright, who else agrees with this?” Richard, the only one who had been quiet this whole time, as usual, raised his hand.

“It wouldn’t hurt to try, boss. Like she said, more money in our pockets. We can do a train job no problem if Alex is right.”

“Fine, Alex and Lou can head out and get down to the bottom of this.” They finished talking about plans for Rhodes and then dispersed. It was only midday, so Alex and Lou had plenty of time to perform their investigation. “Now Tickseed, do be back before the sun comes down. Otherwise, I am gonna have to come looking for ya' and that just ain't fun.” Lou chuckled and shook her head, grabbing the flaps of his button up.

"We won't stay any longer than we need to. I want to get away from this place as soon as possible." She replied with undertones of exhaustion in her voice, but a smile still planted on her face. Jax nodded his head and then drew away with a wink. Lou started towards the horses that were reined a little bit upstream. She didn’t bother acknowledging Alex’s presence as she mounted her horse and trotted through the woods towards the trail. Moments later, Alex came up beside her, his horse letting out a soft neigh.

“Ey, Lou, always trying to get ahead of me.” He joked with a slight laugh; she forced a snort herself but only to make him feel more comfortable. Things just didn’t feel the same. “We haven’t been alone like this in a long time. It’s almost like before, right?” He was really trying, she looked at him and nodded.

“I miss those days sometimes.”

“Oh yeah, I do too. The originally duo days.” She genuinely laughed this time, Alex had a way of making her feel that way. Even when she was angry with him, or annoyed, or sad, he always had this energy that made her smile. She couldn't fake it, maybe she could try, but it wouldn't last long.

“Is that what you call’em?”

“I do.” He gave her a sheepish smile; they continued the rest of the way in silence. The town was absolutely bustling today, and they were preparing a train for departure. Miners had just finished their five-minute breaks, for those who had the chance to have breaks, and they were heading back to work. There was something that Lou always found fascinating about Annesburg: one moment you can be strolling through the natural, clean forest and the next you find yourself in the smog ridden town of Annesburg. Alex guided Lou to the station, which basically consisted of a conductor sitting in a lone booth. They reined their horses a few feet away and as Alex stepped forward, Lou shoved a hand out in front of him.

“Let the lady handle this one.” He looked onward in shock as she had never said that out of her usual ‘heist doing’ dress. She confidently stepped up to the conductor at the booth and leaned against its edge. He was reading over the daily paper for the town it appeared, she would have to get his attention if she ever wanted to work her magic on him properly. He was young, not much older than her, and he didn’t have a ring on his finger. Either he couldn’t afford one or he wasn’t married, either way she would get him. She cleared her throat; he lifted his gaze to see her standing there and his eyes widened. His lips parted as he tried to find something to say, but he was so taken aback by her beauty that he-

“You’re wearing pants?” Lou’s head craned back, of all the things he could have said, he says that? She wasn't the best hair day and she hadn't bathed in about a week, but of all the things he points out, its her pants?

“Excus’ me?”

“I have never seen a woman in pants before.” So much for trying to be confident with who she truly was, the gun-totting Van Der Linde offspring.

“Yes, yes, Of course, my dress got…” She tried to find a good word to explain the feigned situation she was creating for herself. “Wet.” The conductor nodded his head as if that made any sense, he didn’t need to know any more.

“Of course, how can I help you today, Miss?”

“Yes, I am planning on taking a train to Valentine tomorrow night. Would you be so kind as to tell me when that leaves?”

“Oh, of course,” He skimmed the document laid out before him and his face winced. “Sorry, Ma’am, that is a restricted train for special services only. However, there is a passenger train leaving tomorrow in the morning at 10 O’clock sharp.” Her entire expression ran into anger and annoyance.

“Well, what ‘special services’ are we talking here? I am special, aren’t I?”

“The train is for Leviticus Cornwall, the most renowned businessman of our time, he owns almost all the banks in this part of the south and the trading companies.” Her features softened immediately; she was only faking it after all.

“Oh, if that’s the case then, well, he can take as many trains as he so pleases. Thank you for your service.” She turned and left the conductor to go back to his reading, the whole time thinking what a stupid conductor he was. He had literally given her more information than she could ever ask for. Alex met her halfway, but she kept walking towards the horses.

“So, what did he say?”

“There is a train leaving for Valentine tomorrow.”

“Yes!” Alex applauded himself, he was hoping that this job would win him Lou’s favor once again. Lou nodded at him, but then placed a hand on his shoulder.

“No, celebrating yet. We must run this by Jax. This could be a big job for us, perhaps bigger than we can run.”

“For bonds?”

“Not just for bonds, my friend.” Lou mounted her brown stallion and then with one wink back in Alex’s direction, started riding fast back to camp. Alex quickly reacted and followed after her, wishing that Lou would give him some praise for finding a job as big as she says it is. He knew she wouldn't it was too good to be true. The love of his life, his best friend, she was dead to him. He was replaced just like he figured would happen. 


	7. Chapter 6: Never Celebrate Before a Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is collectively decided that the group will do the train job, and as a result, a celebration is thrown in sight of their soon to be victory. While Lou is having a good time, Alex is more concerned about other things. Things that he hadn't gotten a good enough chance to tell her about, things that just might be the end of everything for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little hectic here, but don't worry. As Dutch would say, "I have a plan." I have spent these past few days writing the next few chapters ahead of time so I can tie up this portion of the story line. I hope you guys enjoy! Stay safe!

The chorus of drunken singing echoed through the forest; the sound of the nearby river drowned out by all the ruckus. Around the fire sat the very energized souls that were Lou, Carson, Brian, Jax, and Richard. The fire illuminated the smiles on their sweaty faces, as they drunk from whiskey bottles being passed back and forth around the fire. Alex was nowhere to be found and before Lou had ended up by the fire, she had been looking around for him to tell him that they were going to go through with the job. In fact, that was the whole reason behind this giant celebration. With their combined skills they could hit this job without issue. They could have enough money split separately amongst each other to start new lives if they wanted. They wouldn’t have to rob anything for at least five years. Even if the job doesn’t turn out such a great profit, if what Lou had heard about this rich banking man was true, they would still be filthy rich by the end of this.

“ _Drink that rot gut, drink that rot gut, Drink that red eye, boys…_ ” Carson slurred out, spitting with every word.

“ _It don’t make a damn wherever we land, we hit it up for joy…_ ” Brian continued his words, he came to stand only to tumble back over and boisterous laughter followed.

“And, Louie!” Jax exclaimed, handing the bottle to where she sat on his lap and she came to her two feet in a messy fashion. She started to chug as the others continued to sing the repeated chorus, the lyrics came to silence when she removed the tip of the bottle from her lips. She released a loud burp and chuckled to herself, Jax’s hands at her hips to steady her where he sat.

“ _Whenever you get to town…_ ” She started the second chorus, gradually the others joined in. “ _Drink it straight and swig it mighty~_ ” She held that long note as she plopped back down onto Jax’s lap and as a whole the group sounded: “ _Till the world goes round and round! Ey_!” The air filled with their laughter yet again as they clapped and cheered in excitement. Lou fumbled to get back up, leaving a messy kiss on Jax’s stubbled cheek as she stood.

“A’ight, Boys, gotta’ take a piss.” She stumbled away from the fire, into the darkness of the woods that surrounded their small encampment. She tripped on a log, grabbed the bark of the nearest tree to hold herself up. She laughed at her own self and then fell forward into a sloppy walk. She stopped at the nearest tree and started to unbuckle her pants.

“Lou?” A familiar voice blurted out behind Lou, she squinted her eyes in the darkness as she came to turn out.

“Who is it?” She blurted out, “I’ll kill ya’.”

“It’s me. Alex.” He was a bit of a ways away from her, either that or she was just too drunk to really gage his proximity.

“What is it? I am trying to piss.” She hissed at him, turning her back to him and continuing to go anyways. She rolled her pants down and came to squat.

“Lou, we have to get out of here.”

“What are you going on about, you big banana?” Alex averted his eyes as she started to pee.

“Its Jax and the others, I think they are up to no good.” Lou sniffled as she finished her business and came to a stand, pulling her pants up as she went. She leaned her back against the tree for support, buckling her pants as she did so.

“That’s you’ fucking jealousy talking, friend.”

“Louis Ann, this is not a joke. You are extremely drunk, right now. You don’t know what they are planning.” The urgency in his voice made Lou cock her head, his voice was strained and panicked. Her drunk self didn’t pick up the signs and brushed off his words as exaggeration and jealousy, yet again. Lou snorted, she made her way over to Alex and allowed her drunken body to fall into his arms. He propped her up under his arms with a grunt to help her stand. “What are you doing, Lou? Fuck, you are so drunk.”

“Alex, I am sorry I could never love you like you wanted me too.” She slobbered onto his shoulder, her arms tightening around his neck and she let her body weight completely loose in his arms. “Everythin’ is fine, alra’.” She didn’t quite finish that word. She pushed her hands off his chest to stand up straight again.

“Louis, this isn’t about that, not anymore. Come with me. We have to go before things get rough here for us.” He grabbed her arm and pulled it over his neck, helping her walk that much further into the woods. Lou was too weak and drunk to fight back. The most she could muster was a few words in protest. Alex was rushing, trying to get them away from there as quickly as possible. For reasons that he wish he had told Lou about much earlier than this. He was too late.

“What the fuck do ya’ think you are doing, boy? Drop her.” Alex paused in his footing, he slowly turned around to find Jax, Lou’s drinking buddy only moments before.

“Jaxxy…” Lou muttered out, only making the situation worse for Alex.

“Look, just let us go. We won’t do you any harm.” Alex reasoned, a man that typically wasn’t the voice of reason. Although he wanted to throw as many obscenities and as much anger as possible at Jax, he knew he didn’t have the upper hand. Jax was pointing his gun at Alex, in the dark it was hard to see his expression, but he certainly wasn’t happy.

“Neither of ya’ are leaving. I wouldn’t let you go anywhere with her, now would I?” Jax quickly stepped forward, he holstered his gun and picked Lou up into a bridal hold. Her arms raveled around his neck and she buried her face into his chest. Alex looked on with wide eyes, he just let Jax take away the only family that Alex ever really had. Officially this time.

“Now if you aren’t back at camp, I will come after ya’ boy, I mean it. You and her ain’t going anywhere.”

“Jax, I think I need some water.” She whispered softly, Jax dropped his chin to his chest and mumbled a few words back to her before turning and heading back to the camp. Alex not far behind him, he couldn’t just let him go with Lou at stake. Alex didn’t know what he was going to do, all he knew was that things weren’t going to end well here. Not with what Jax was saying only hours ago.

Jax carried Lou back to camp, the men laid out by the fire now, telling each other jokes and carrying light conversation. Alex stood at the point where the forest ended and the camp began, he grabbed his hat off his head and nervously held it in his arms. Jax placed Lou on his cot, gave her some water and allowed to recuperate.

“I think I had a tad more than I could handle, Jax.”

“That so, Tickseed?” He asked rhetorically, undertones of amusement sitting in his throat. She held the tin cup out for more water and Jax picked some more up in the bucket and held it out to her. “Now, Sweetheart, were you gonna leave with Lil' Alex over there?” Jax sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her, she leaned over to him and tilted her head to stare into his eyes.

“No, I could never leave ya’. Alex is just paranoid s’all. I could have fought him if I was bit more aware, but uh, I had so much to drink.” She laughed, chugging at the rest of what was in the cup.

“Ahh, Of course…” Jax grabbed the cup and placed it beside the bed. “Bedtime?” Lou smiled widely, she bit her bottom lip, her eyelids fluttering slowly, and she was most definitely feeling lethargic.

“No.” She reached out from her spot on the edge of the cot, Jax placed a handout to her support her so she wouldn’t slide off. She undid the rope on the curtains into the tent and they fell shut, providing a smidge more privacy for the two of them.

“O-Oh, I see.” A look of uncertainty pained his expression, Lou was in no state to be making decisions like this and she had been wanting to wait for something like this for a long time. Despite this, Jax allowed her to push him forward to where he was laying on his back. She nearly fell off him as she crawled over his body, twisting the notch on the lantern and causing the tent to go dark. “I thought you were waiting.”

“Not anymore…” Her hand traced down his body towards the one spot she had been so curious about all these years, the one spot on a man that her aunt said was the most pleasurable one. “I’ve a’ decided.” She was so weak she could hardly hold herself up, her hand didn’t do anything more than clumsily hit the top of his left thigh, she slid to the side of him already in exhaustion. “Tomorrow, then?”

“Oh, I suppose so.” He sounded defeated, a bit let down, and despite her drunkenness, she could hear that.

“Wha’s wrong?” She yawned, closing her eyes and losing herself to his earthy smell and grumbling voice as he began to respond.

“Well, Tickseed, we might not have a tomorrow you and I, it’s quite a shame really. I would have loved to give you a good one.”

“Why not?” She laughed, eyes still closed, hands caressing his chest. “We are gon’ do this tra’n job.” He then was the one laughing at her, his hand smoothly warming up her shoulder. She snuggled into him further, too drunk and tired to understand what he meant.

“Oh, Tickseed, so innocent and loving, the most beautiful woman I have just about ever known.”

“I know…” She brought her leg over his body, getting more comfortable for some shut eye. “I love you, Jax Kistler. I didn’t think I could ever love someone lik’ I do ya’ but I love ya’.”

“Hmmm. Such an innocent little thing, I swear, If I wasn’t the man that I was...” He trailed off as if he was going to say more, with a sigh, he placed his chin on her head. “In this world we live in, with what we do, good things never last, my sweet…” She was already softly snoring into his chest, fast asleep and lost in the security of his arms. If those arms were even secure to begin with. “If only you had learned that sooner, if only.”

…

“I got the girl, start fixing to close up camp.” Lou’s ears focused in on the familiar voice, she recognized the lack of a soft cushion beneath her and the inability to move. This scratchy material tied around wrists, leaving itchy red marks in its wake the more she struggled. Her feet bound, she could hardly move and a cloth around her mouth. Her eyes shot wide open; panic engulfed her whole body along with the side effects of the usual hangover. The sky was settling into the day, a gloomy set of blues, oranges, and grays painted onto the earth’s ceiling. A mist surrounded the area that Lou was in and when she looked down, she was in fact bound by rope at the wrists and feet. Only a few steps ahead of her, dragging her body by a long extension of rope was Jax. She mumbled against the fabric of the gag and shook to stunt his movements. He turned around and this bright grin split his face in half. “Oh, Tickseed,” He dropped the rope and circled around to crouch down by her head. She lobbed her body back and forth, chest heaving as she tried to gasp for air through her nose and calm herself. "I was hoping you’d be awake; it would be awfully upsetting not to say goodbye.” She tried to shout and speak through the gag, but it all just came out as gibberish. Jax slid the gag down under her chin and cocked his head at her.

“JAX! WHAT THE FUCK IS-“

“Shhh, that’s enough now.” He caressed at her cheek with his dirty knuckles, as if that was going to sooth her. “I wish there was another way, but we just can’t keep doing this. It was nice while it lasted though.”

“What-What are you talking about?” She sputtered out, continuing to struggle against the bindings. Her eyebrows furrowed and tears stung at the edges of her eyes.

“Louis, baby doll, this job we are pulling tonight. We can’t risk sharing that, this is a big score for us, and we don’t need Alex nor you on this one. So,” He shrugged. “The rational thing to do is to just cut ya' guys off.”

“There is another way!” She shouted, “You don’t have to do this!”

“But I do, ya’see, if I let you go then you will do everything in your power to come after us and that’s no fun. Look Louis, it’s nothing personal.”

“IT’S PERSONAL TO ME!” She screeched, Jax shook his head.

“You fell too fast and too hard, now I kept my distance. So, you falling in love, that ain’t my fault.”

“YOU FUCKER!” She tried not to cry, she tried not to give him that pleasure. He stood and moved back to the rope, dragging her alone. She bashed her body around, trying her best to made it harder for him. “Where’s Alex?!” Her words came out shaky, between clenched teeth as waves of emotion pooled within her. “WHERE IS HE?!”

“Same as you, I suppose, or will be at least. Boys are taking care of him; he was causing a damn ruckus trying to get to ya’.”

“If you hurt him…” She snarled, the dirt beneath her back turning into wood, the sound of sloshing water sounding beneath the boards.

“You’ll what? I don’t think you are in any position to threaten me, Oh Louis Van Der Linde.”

“Jax, you don’t have to do this! You don’t! There is always another way!” He ignored her pleas, dragging her to edge of a dock of sorts. He brought the clothe over her mouth again and winked at her.

“I will be right back, sugar plum.” She started trying to roll herself back down the dock, but as he returned with a somewhat medium sized rock in hand, he used his feet to kick her back. “You always were a stubborn little shit.” He began to tie the end of the rope around the rock. “Ya’know I meant what I said, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known and the greatest. God, if only your father knew how amazing you are. If it makes you feel better, people will remember ya’. I might even remember ya' a few years from now, who knows?” He reasoned, kicking her closer to the edge again. He lifted the rock as he came to a stand, stepping closer to the edge of the dock at her feet. He gazed down into her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks as she glared at him with absolute anger. “Bluest eyes I have ever seen, and stubborn as all hell, even when you’re about to die.” He hesitated for a moment, if only for a moment. “Have fun down there, will ya’?” He dropped the rock into the water and it plunged into the depths below, Lou’s body was harshly dragged over the dock's edge with it. Her body descending to the bottom of lake and Jax leaving the edge of the dock as if nothing happened.


	8. Chapter 7: Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou manages to escape the watery death that Jax had thrown her into, but what she couldn't escape was the guilt and the grief that followed.

When Lou dropped, she had attempted to take in as much air into her lunges as possible, straight through her nose. She was terrible at holding her breath. She didn’t know how much longer she could do it, but if there was anything that she knew about this situation it was that Jax was an idiot. As she thrashed and struggled beneath the water, long black hair swishing around her, fish swimming to and fro, her boots were sliding off her socks. Those same boots were what Jax had tied the rope around and as her boots slid off, her freedom was on its way. Her wrists made it difficult for her to swim to the top, but she managed to push her feet off the bottom of the pool to get to the top of the water. As her head peaked out she gasped for a breath of air, the now fully revealed sun gracing her face. She could only keep her bottom above the surface for so long, she was then being pulled under yet again. She wiggled her legs as much as possible, bound hands out in front of her as she made way for the bank of the lake.

She gasped for air again as the bottom of the lake started shrinking towards the surface of the water, she was shuffling out onto the bank. She dropped onto her back to catch her breath, strands of her black hair sticking to her forehead. She closed her eyes, chest heaving as she scrounged for breath and tried to gather that she was still alive. Her mind was flowing with a whole mess of thoughts, a bunch of doubts and regrets. In the time she had plunged into the water she was already defeating herself over mistakes that she had made, over the horrible decisions that lead to where she was now. She was at first scared, but that was paired with a deep anger that engulfed her completely. She came to stand, looking down at her bound hands she pondered what her next plan of action was, how she was going to get herself to where she needed to be. She didn’t wait any longer, came to her feet and then started running.

She recognized where she was as she delved further into the forest. The lake wasn’t far from their encampment and if Lou followed Jax’s horse tracks then she could find her way to camp easily. She ran as fast as she could, her lunges burning as she ran. It was very early in the morning as far as she could see, the birds were tweeting, and the sun’s rays were peaking through the tree branches. Life was still going as usual, while she was in tragedy, and there was nothing she could do about it. She tried not to cry, she tried to ignore the nausea in her stomach and the pounding headache that had came on from the night before. She hardly even remembers anything after the singing, chugging those last few shots of whiskey hit her hard.

She found herself near the river, leading up to camp. She came closer with caution, only to find that everyone was gone. All that remained was a fire pit, its tenders still warmed up. She dropped to her knees in shocks, thoughts racing, palms sweating and her heart beating fast.

“A-Alex…” Her voice wavered as she searched for answers and excuses for where he could be. If she had managed to escape, what if Alex had too? What if he was brought with them? What if- He was dead. He was dead and it was all her fault. “Alex!” She didn’t believe it, where could he be? “Alex!” Her words got caught on her scrapped-up voice and she croaked. Tears started to flow faster over her dampened cheeks, her head dropped to her chest. “Alex…” She whispered only to herself, so only she could hear.

“Louisss…” Her name faded into the emptiness, her head shot up and she shakily brought herself to her feet. She moved closer to the voice, to Alex’s voice, to where he could be. “Louiisss.” It breathed out a bit louder and as her feet carried on, she caught side of his boots from around the corner of a large tree. She sprinted and slid on her knees, closest to him. Alex was propped up against a tree, blood pouring from these deep gashes into his abdomen. The first thing Lou did was grab his knife and cut herself free, she stabbed it into the dirt beside Alex and then turned her attention to him. He grabbed his face, the blood on his fingertips brushing up on her skin. She was hiding the urge to cry hard, a lump formed in her throat and she refused to believe this was happening.

“Alex, Alex, Alex, Alex...” She pressed against the wounds at his belly, he winced. His hand moved to her shoulder where he grabbed it tightly, silently urging her to stop. “It’s okay.” She whimpered out, “You can’t die because its just a scratch, because you are alright, okay? Alright?” She cupped his head in her cheeks. He had turned pale, what life was left in his eyes was fading. She bit her bottom lip and her jaw tightened; her fist hit the ground. “No! You can’t!”

“Lou…” He wheezed and she tucked herself closer to him to hear his words. “It’s gon’ be fine now. I’m sorry I failed ya’…” He took in another deep breath, lips crackled and purple. “I shoulda’ told ya’ before.”

“No, No,” The tears could not be held back. She gathered closer and leaned her head on his shoulder, arms circling around his upper torso. “This is my fault.”

“Shut it…” He had a hard time speaking those words, and she drew away to look him in the eyes again. Her face wrinkled as sobs started to escape her. “Don’t cry…” He gasped, “Let me-Let me see that smile one last time.” He forced a smile onto his own face, she did too. “I love yo....” He used the last bit of energy in his body to lift his hand onto his stomach, palm facing upward. There, in his palm, was the necklace he had made for her. The light faded completely from his eyes and his head slumped over. Her body was trembling, she felt cold and heavy. She was gazing intensely at the necklace in his lifeless hand. The only thing left now between Alex and her.

These past few weeks had been hard for Alex and her. She realized that she had done the very thing she had promised she would never do. She had replaced him. The man that she had considered a brother had died because she was too stubborn to see him, to notice that he had always been there. She thought she knew what love was, but really, she had been pushing herself as far away from it as possible because she was afraid. She was afraid of what it meant to really hold someone and kiss them and care about them. She felt those things with Alex and now they were all gone. She took those moments for granted because she was afraid of what they meant. She was afraid of what it felt like to truly be in love with someone. She tossed Alex aside because of that. She pushed him away and isolated herself from that being an option, when he had been the only person ever there for her.

She will never be able to hear him say her name again. She will never be able to get into arguments with him and make up afterwards. She will never be able to be a goof around him, always trying to pull pranks on him to get him annoyed. That one time she pushed in the lake; she would never be able to push him in the lake again. And when he pulled her in with him, he will never do that again to her. At night when they would sit by the fire, he would hold her when she was cold. He would whisper stories that he had made up for her and he would play songs on his harmonica is she was ever stir crazy. He would tease her and squeeze her, make her giggle like no one else had ever done before. Most importantly, he was always there for her and now he would never be there for her again.

“Alex?” She called, hoping he would respond, hoping this was some dream. She lifted her gaze to his sunken face, eyes wide open and tufts of orange bangs fluttering over before his face. “Alex? You can talk to me ya’know. This isn’t funny.” No response. She was only talking to herself. “You son’ of a bitch.” She snatched the necklace from his hands and curled up beside him, back against the tree. She looked down at the necklace. She was going insane.

“What ya’ doin’ calling me no son’ of a bitch?” She smiled over at him as his hopeless corpse returned to life, he was smiling back.

“You messed up on this curve right here. It looks crooked.”

“Well, let me fix that for you, Miss.” She dropped her head to the side onto his shoulder and started to sob for a moment. His body hadn’t moved, he wasn’t alive, and this was all in her head.

“Alex? You really fucked it up, ya’know. This-“ She paused as she pointed at the curvature in the wooden piece on the necklace. “Its crooked, okay?” There was no response this time. She knew that if he answered again, it would only add to her insanity. She sat there for a moment, breathing in and out, trying to collect herself. “You know we said,” She wiped her tears with her bloodied hands. “You said that-“ She choked up and more sobs wracked her body. “That we would die together. Whether it be on a score, or on a farm, or somewhere. We would die together.” She gulped, her heart and soul breaking as she thought more and more about where she was. “You lied to me, ya’know? You said we would have a dog and that we could name him whatever I wanted. I wanted to name him Snipe and you used to make fun of me for wanting to name him that.” She rose the twine up around her neck and tied it at the back. “You’re a liar.”

Her mind translated this grief of hers into something far more sinister. She took a deep breath and imagined the man in her mind, the man that did this. She imagined Jax, every detail and she imagined everything she wanted to do to him. She imagined that she wanted to slit his throat and cut his dick off and slice off his lips. She wanted him to feel pain. She wanted revenge. She wanted Carson, Brian, and Richard dead. She wanted them to feel what she felt when she was dragged down to the bottom of that lake. This time she glanced over at Alex with nothing but pure rage in her soul, with nothing but hatred for everything that Jax Kistler was.

After roughly an hour or two of sitting, Lou came to stand, and she started to get to work. She dragged Alex’s body a far distance, it took her about an hour or two more to get him there. Despite what little time she had to act, she was not going to rush this. She dragged him along the river bank, over to the waterfall where he had offered her the necklace. There laid a grass patch that sat between the cliff and the forest. It was tough and long, but Lou used her hands to bury a body sized hole in the dirt. Not as deep as she had liked, but she did what she could with what she had. She dragged Alex’s body to hell, then started walking back and forth between the river and the grave, placing rocks one by one over his body. It was mid-day by the time she had managed to create a fairly nice sized pile on top of body. It did the job for now and she felt pleased with her work by the time it was finished. She stood at the foot of the grave and stared out over the rocks, then looked back to the beautiful view overlooking the waterfall.

“You know you were my greatest friend, and…” She shuffled her bare feet in the dirt and sniffled, the tears came back again. “… my heart.” She reached up to hold the wooden necklace in her palm. “I failed you and I will have to live with that. If I could kill myself I would, but I know you wouldn’t want me to. You would…” She closed her eyes. “You would want me to live for you, and I will. So, um…” She shook her head. “I don’t know what else to say to ya’. I failed you in life…” She licked her dry lips, “But I won’t fail you in death. I will never fail you again.” She stood there in silence for a few moments, but she knew she couldn’t stay long as she watched the sun continue to rise over her head.

She had some business to take care of.


	9. Chapter 8: The Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou knows she needs to act fast. She will only know this one time for sure where Jax and the others are going to be. She gathers what she needs and heads out to go find them. This time she isn't in it for the score, she's in it for the revenge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Below is the continued timeline along with the story:  
> 1878: Lou Ann Van Der Linde is born, unbeknownst to the Father  
> 1879: Annabelle leaves to join the Van Der Linde Gang  
> 1890: Lou finds out about the truth in the attic  
> 1892: She flees her Aunt with her best friend Alex  
> 1897: They meet Jax, Lou and Jax join forces  
> 1898: Alex dies, Lou goes after Jax and his gang  
> 1899: TO BE CONTINUED...
> 
> Also, I have been playing with the multitude of ways that Lou could meet her father. It's not exactly going to be as the summary of this story suggests. I want it to come as a surprise, so just keep in mind that it will be when you least expect it.

An old man, naked as the day he was born, exposing himself to the elements as he spends himself with one last dip in the lake. He washes his face and then cups some water in his hands over his head. He smiles to himself, satisfied with a full day’s work and a nice bath. He finds himself exiting the lake, hobbling his frail body over to his things. They should be just around the corner of the large rock siting by the lake, where his horse should be. As he turns the corner, he stops, and his eyes goes wide.

“What in the…”

Lou rode as fast as this horse could take her; it was an older mare but Lou didn’t find herself complaining over the little things. She was lucky that she had come across the lone traveler, otherwise she wouldn’t have boots for her feet and guns for shooting. She was kind enough to leave the older man with his trousers, but she removed her shirt in favor of his solely because it wasn’t covered in blood. She knew she didn’t have much time, if she was going to find Jax and the others, she needed to think like them. She knew that following the railroad tracks from Annesburg would be her best bet. She would have to remain cautious so as not to get caught by them on the way, but it was all she had to go off of.

The sun was falling by the time she made it to the railroad tracks, painting the sky with hues of purples of oranges. She never got the specific time that train was leaving, but neither did Jax. All they really knew was to find a vantage point by night because the train was leaving at night. She didn’t give herself nor her horse time to rest, she followed alongside the tracks as a means of gaging what her next best bet would be. She didn’t know this territory well and not only did Jax have a map, but he must have had all her items too: her compass, her mother’s journal, her weapons and clothes. She wanted her specific things back, especially because this old man’s items were quite loose on her tiny figure. She was feeling defeated as time went on but remained alert for anything out of the ordinary. The last thing she needed was for Jax and his gang to ambush her.

It was completely dark out by the time she heard the loud rustling of train’s engine’s in the distance, far out behind her. She turned on her horse and watched as it eased towards the tracks that she was beside. She realized that perhaps she had been ahead of Jax and the others, that she had nothing to worry about. Her hair flew up as the train came rushing past the horse and her. It carried carts for what felt like forever, a nonstop barrage of cargo, with the average guard standing here and there. The train was a lot less armed than she had expected, only meaning that if things had gone as planned that money would have been theirs. As the last cart came past, she started out after the train. If she followed it, she was bound to run into Jax and the others. After a few minutes that most definitely was the case.

“Ye’haw boys! Keep it close!” If they had noticed her riding behind the train, they hadn’t noticed. They came up from the sides on their horse, closing in around the train and attempting to jump onto it. Lou figured it was time for them to give her their undivided attention. Richard managed to grab onto the safety bar on the back car. Louis grabbed her gun and pointed it at him, shooting at him and making for a perfect shot. Richard let go and came tumbling down behind the train. She moved around him as her horse galloped past. Jax and the other two glanced over at her, even at this distance she could see the surprise on Jax’s face. “Get BOYS! NOW!” Carson carried on too far for her to shoot, choosing to board the second cart from the last instead. While Brian attempted to do the same thing as Richard but nerves must have gotten to him quick. He wasn’t paying attention and he rode his horse into the edge corner of the last cart. His horse came out beneath him and both were left behind badly injured, a gruesome scene. Lou immediately thought about how Karma must have been on her side for this one. Jax was the only one that hadn’t jumped on, but he swiftly did manage to get the metal of the safety bar.

He decided to start shooting at her, she weaved back and forth, hoping it would ruin his aim. She kept her distance to prevent from getting shot. Two guards came out from within the last cart and Jax had to turn his attention to them. Lou could see Carson come from within the cart behind one of them, throwing one of the guards over the edge as Jax knuckled the other in the face, knowing him out.

“GO!” Jax urged as they both disappeared into the last cart on the train. Lou grabbed tight onto the reins of her horse; she used the muscles in thighs to press tighter onto the horse’s sides.

“Come on, girl! Come on, GO! YA!” The horse’s speed accelerated to where she could just barely grab the safety bar. Lou was too short to reach for it and she didn’t want to risk getting to close either. She balanced herself to where she was standing on her horse’s back, she only had so much time before her horse would start slowing down on her. She jumped, her hands latching onto the safety bar and her body swung over from the momentum of the jump. She used the muscles in her arms to pull herself up and as soon as she was on board that last cart she ran. She sprinted from cart to cart, far behind Carson and Jax, who had kindly cleared the way for her.

She knew when she had finally caught up to them as a bullet barely missed her face. It was from a guard two carts over, Carson and Jax in the cart between. She removed her pistols and without thinking rationally, she went for it. She shot at the guard skillfully and he dropped, Jax started laying a slew of bullets at her from the other cart. She ducked behind a wooden box, peeking out once to see where they had gone. Jax was already one his way a few carts down. She wasn’t thinking about Carson and as she came out from her place and started after Jax, Carson jumped out from behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and slammed her into the wall of the cart. She reeled back in pain and tried to collect herself, but he had already brandished a knife and was diving in for a second blow.

She swiftly reacted, just in time, evading the swipe of the blade and shooting forward. Carson barely missed her close fire, he tackled her to the ground, and she kneed upward between his legs. She punched him across the face, rolled over, holding the hand with the knife under her knee now. She removed Alex’s knife from her boot and stabbed it into Carson’s throat. She watched as he choked on his own blood, hands coming down to the wound she had inflicted on him. Blood spirted out, just enough to spill slightly onto the bottom of the beige shirt she was wearing. She got up and leaned back against the cart wall, giving herself one moment to breath. She turned her head in the direction that Jax had gone, and then with a huff of anger, treaded on.

She ran to the next cart over before climbing up on top of the carts, she supposed it would be faster this way. Eventually she was coming closer to the head of the train, where she knew Jax was near. A loud screeching noise filled her ears and the train jolted back causing her to slip forward and nearly fall off. She steadied herself and then started running again, hopping between cart after cart until she was close. The train had stopped completely by the time she made it to the front, she ducked down as she watched Jax exit the conductor’s cart. She watched him stretch his arms over his head, he looked back down at the long length of the train and then released a sigh.

“Carson! You down there!” There was no reply. He muttered to himself something about Carson not being able to here. Lou ducked down further to hide herself and watched as Jax started to walk down back towards the back of the train, his weapon drawn. Lou quietly slid down the edge and dropped to her feet, falling onto her back. Luckily it didn’t make enough noise to draw Jax’s attention and she was able to slowly follow behind him as he scaled the train. “Wooohhheee, we really are gon’ be rich men after this. Ain’t we Carson?!” He exclaimed, looking over the long display of carts that carried a multitude of goods to sell.

Lou didn’t know why she couldn’t reveal her presence, she had gotten so far and now she was finally here. The truth was she didn’t think she was going to get here. She didn’t think she could do it after all that she had been through that day. She was tired and hungry, but Alex kept her awake and energetic. She was doing this for him, for Alex’s memory and for his reputation. She finally stood out from behind Jax and she aimed her gun at him, cocking back the hammer. Jax stopped in his tracks, letting out a low snort.

“Put your gun down.” Lou spoke firmly, eyes boring holes into he back of Jax’s head. Jax’s gun limply dropped from his hand and he slowly turned to face Lou. He smiled, his eyes analyzing ever feature on her face from this distance.

“Not bad, Louie, not bad at all.” She remained stoic as she stared at him, but he showed no fear towards her. That was his mistake. “You killed the others; didn’t think you could do it.” She lifted her chin, glad that she was able to contribute to their deaths, that she was able to fulfill parts of her revenge.

“Well, I did. Just like I am going to kill you.” He let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head.

“See, I don’t know if you can. Because I am not like the others, am I, Tickseed?” Her eyebrows furrowed; her lips trembled. “And I mean, why should I believe that you can kill me? You couldn’t kill that worthless piece of shit man from the carriage job, could ya’? Brian was an accident, Richard and Carson? Well, you didn’t care much for them anyways.”

“I don’t have to explain myself to you, I make my own choices.”

“Of course, so you just pick and choose who has more reason to live and who doesn’t? Sure.” Her breath wavered as he stepped forward, he cocked his head to the side. “I mean at least everyone equally has to die when its my turn to choose. For you, nobody will ever know, will they? Because you like to play God, don’t you?”

“Shut up! I kill the people that deserve it. I do.”

“Do I deserve it, then, Lou?” He raised his eyebrows at her, grabbing the folds of his shirt and leaned back confidently. “Did I kill Alex? Or was that you?”

“STOP TALKING!” Jax was quick, he pulled an extra gun out from behind him and fired in Lou’s direction. She rolled out of the way, from then on it was a gun fight. Bullets flying back and forth, that each would skillfully dodge behind a tree or in the brush. They both jumped out, lost in the anticipation and adrenaline of the fight. Their guns aimed at each other and…

 **Click!** _Two clicks ringed out in sync, hammers flitting forward_

What could have possibly been the odds? They both were empty.

“Well, what a predicament, Lou.”

“Yes, what a predicament indeed.” Lou reached down into her pocket, Jax’s eyes narrowed in confusion as she pulled out the appropriate ammo and loaded her gun, not once breaking eye contact with him.

“Ey!” He laughed nervously, “We can talk this through, Tickseed. We can. How about we split the money? Huh?” She came a few steps closer, far enough so that he couldn’t try anything and close enough so that she could see the whites of his eyes.

“Oh,” She nodded her head, her lips quirked up slightly, but it was an irritated smile. “You’re so innocent, Jax. That’s not how this game works.” She bounced the words back to him, causing his expression to wrinkle into a grimace.

“Come on, Tickseed. I thought you loved me.” She raised the gun at him and cocked the hammer back, she glared a hard stare at Jax with fire burning in her eyes.

“My name isn’t Tickseed. It’s Louis Anastasia Fucking Van Der Linde, you piece of shit.”

**Bang!**


	10. Chapter 9: Redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Hosea head out into the grizzlies for old times sake, hoping to find their luck with the giant legendary monster bear that the hunters have been going on about. They come across a familiar stranger, more connected to their path than either of them had realized originally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys, its been a busy past few days. Hoping this will make ya'll smile, the plot thickens.

_5 months later..._

“…Hosea, how much longer?” Arthur grumbled, steadying his horse as he trotted slowly behind Hosea. The sun was closing over the mountains and black was starting to pour itself into the day’s end.

“Not much, further up here. We are getting close, might set up camp not far out over this ridge.”

“Sure thing.” They rode out as far as Hosea meant ‘close’. Hosea stopped at the edge of the path, it curved out downward, overlooking a huge lake. He dismounted his horse and looked over his shoulder at Arthur.

“This will be a nice spot, right here. How ‘bout you go shoot us a-“

“God dammit!” A voice shouted from the tree line, Arthur and Hosea’s attention darted in that direction. Hosea couldn’t see anything, but if Arthur squinted hard enough, he could see the owner of the voice, weaving through the pine trees. He jumped off his horse and quickly moved to Hosea’s side.

“What is it Arthur?”

“Looks like a woman.” As she drew closer, Arthur could make out her appearance. She was wearing a white stetson hate, a dirty beige button up shirt, black riding pants, and a pair of brown leather boots. She was carrying a premium caracano rifle in hand, a rough threaded bag rested at her lower back, its straps hanging tight over her shoulders. “She’s armed, so be ready.” As she exited the clearing, she made eye contact with Arthur and lifted her weapon in caution. Hosea waved a handout and nervously chuckled.

“We mean no harm, girl. Lower your rifle.”

“I don’t trust anybody. Who are ya’ fellas’?”

“Well, at least we know you aren’t an idiot.” Arthur mumbled, Hosea shot a glare at Arthur before taking a step forward, he immediately froze when the stranger cocked her gun, Arthur’s hand came to his pistol.

“My name is Hosea and this is Arthur. We are here hunting.” Her eyes narrowed and although it was getting dark out, Hosea could see those sparkling blue eyes glimmering back at him. For a moment, they looked familiar and some of her features did not go unnoticed by his memory, but he was certain he had never met her before.

“What kind of hunting?”

“Just Animal hunting is al.” She was silent as she thought over his words, tried to process the entirety of their images, checking for any dangers. She lowered her rifle slightly and took a deep breath, releasing a hard sigh as she started back on the path towards the lake.

“Well, if you see a man named Harris Sturgis around here. Tell him he is dead.”

“Will do!” Arthur shouted out, Hosea glanced over his shoulder at him and huffed.

“That was an odd sight to behold.”

“Tell me about it, a beauty like that? Going out bounty hunting? I thought I had seen everything.” Hosea reached into the satchel on his horse, pulling out a set of items and he started setting up camp.

“Go catch us a rabbit, will ya’? No, need for wasting time. Sun’s almost down.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Arthur exited on into the forest, where the stranger had came from. He returned to find that Hosea had gotten the fire started and the bags set out, the stew ready for some rabbit. He dropped the skinned rabbit in front of Hosea and Hosea got to work at fixing it for the stew, Arthur sat off to the side and watched. Eventually it was completely dark out, the fire illuminating the shadows of their faces. The crickets were chirping hard and the crackle of the flames echoing out into the emptiness. The two exchanged conversation over old times and the upcoming hunt the next morning, about what was going to happen with the gang. It was then they heard footsteps coming back up the path, dragging one after the other. The silhouette of a person approaching close, Hosea and Arthur got their weapons ready, they came to stand for a fight. The flicker of the fire revealed the familiar face, the strap of her rifle over shoulder and a cut on her soft pale cheek.

“I’ll be damned. Come back to rob us blind?” Arthur questioned with a raise of his eyebrows and a titled smirk.

“Not this time, wondering if you guys will let me sit here with ya’ for a bit?”

“After the way you treated us earlier-“

“Sure, come take a seat with us.” Hosea interrupted, a smile forming on his lips.

“Hosea-“

“That’s enough Arthur, she isn’t causing any trouble.” Hosea sat back down, Arthur holstered his pistol and hesitantly plopped back down himself.

“Not yet.” He muttered under his breath, the stranger slowly moved to take her seat at the empty edge of the fire.

“Can we get ya’ some stew?” She shook her head politely.

“No, thank you, I am not hungry.” She crossed her legs, removing her rifle and placing down, then removing the knapsack on her back. She stared down at the fire, taking deep breathes, quietly meditating to herself.

“Did ya’ find that man you were looking for?” Arthur asked, hoping to start some conversation and break the silence. Her eyes flitted in his direction, but her head remained tilted towards the fire.

“Kind of.”

“If you don’t mind us asking, what happened? You look pretty banged up.”

“Hmm…” She fiddled with her thumbs in her lap. “I found him. He tried to attack me not far from the lake over there. I, uh, well, we got into it. I won, he then proceeded to take my pistol and he shot himself.” She spoke stoically, as though the fact that her bounty was dead meant nothing, as though the fact that the man had shot himself meant nothing.

“He shot himself? Why didn’t he just shoot you?” Arthur was obviously puzzled by the whole situation, Hosea too.

“I guess he was past that point.”

“What man would try to go to such lengths to evade you?” Arthur continued, a bit skeptical and slightly annoyed with the stranger’s presence.

“Why wouldn’t he be afraid of me? I have never met a man that isn’t.”

“I am not afraid of you.” She finally raised her gaze to look at Arthur. Arthur for a moment admired her pristine features, soft jawline, acute eyebrows, tiny nose, and plush lips. How could a young and beautiful girl like her, be all the way out here doing this work?

“Men of his caliber, the bad kind. He killed three little girls, was going to kill more if someone didn’t go after him.”

“How do you know we aren’t the bad kind?”

“That’s enough, Arthur.” Hosea said, hoping to stop Arthur from causing a whole debacle. “We are new to these parts and, uh, aren’t acquainted with the more familiar folk. What exactly is your name?”

“It’s Lou.”

“Just Lou?” She lowered her gaze, her expression turning from stoic to ashamed and guilty.

“I don’t like saying my whole name.”

“That’s fine, then. You haven’t heard ours, so its only fair I suppose.” She nodded her head. “Well, Lou, what do you do around here? Other than bounty hunting? We have never seen a female bounty hunter before?”

“I am almost new here too. At least enough to still try and get myself acquainted with this area. I had a rough patch a few months ago and I decided to turn over a new leaf.”

“Oh, well we are in the same predicament ourselves, aren’t we Arthur?” Arthur grunted his response, moving attention to playing with his spoon and sloshing the contents of his stew around. “I’m sorry, girl. I can’t help it, forgive an old man for his memory. You look so much like this woman I knew a bit ago. Her name was Annabelle, you are almost the spitting image of her.” Lou’s eyes widened and she her head shot up, Arthur squinted his eyes and then he sat up with a snort.

“Yeah, she does kind of look like Annabelle, don’t she?” He agreed, Hosea noticed the immediate change in Lou and he gave her a soft smile, hoping to sooth her thoughts for a moment.

“Does that name sound familiar to you at all?” Lou stared at Hosea’s expression, worry and panic written all over her face. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. She had been trying for months to give up on everything behind her. Although the thought had crossed her mind once or twice to go looking for her long last parents, she had come to grown fearful of the idea. It didn’t help that this image of Alex would pop up into her head every now and again, she was constantly left with this empty pit of guilt and failure and loneliness.

“Uh, maybe, I don’t know.”

“I was just curious is all. I mean, maybe you were related to her somehow.” Lou was so tempted to come forward with the name, “the name”, the very name she hadn’t said in months. She had come up with some false identity for herself, but here she was, stuck between admitting her true self or keeping this façade.

“Do it, Lou! Say it!” She squeezed her eyes shut tight as Alex’s voice echoed into her ear, she wished he would go away. She wished she didn't listen to him when she was halfway into the forest with a dead man resting before her. 

“Hey, girl, you okay?” Arthur asked, his voice faded out and she could hear nothing but ringing. She opened her eyes and looked around the fire, at the faces around her. Hosea was looking on with concern, Arthur was about ready for anything to happen. “Damn girl is crazy Hosea?”

“She isn’t crazy, Arthur.” Hosea leaned over from his place at the fire with a grunt, his old limbs stretching out to rest a hand on her shoulder. “Lou, is everything alright?” She made her decision, her breath slowed down and the ringing stopped, and Alex’s chanting voice disappeared.

“My full name…” She spoke under a shaky breath, Hosea dropped back to his spot with furrowed eyebrows. She reached over into her bag, Arthur again placing a hand over his pistol. She pulled out her mother’s journal, she flipped a few pages through it and stopped at the one where the photo was. She let the journal sit on her lap and she glanced over the people she couldn’t even recognize herself being related to. Her parents were great people and she was a nobody, a failure.

“Miss?” She traced a pointer finger over the visage of her father and closed her eyes again, imagining Alex talking to her and guiding her. Her eyes fluttered open and she accepted her fate.

“I am fine. I just, well, my full name is Lou Anne Van Der Linde.” Silence echoed amongst the two travelers, she looked between them for any bit of reaction and their faces were blank. Arthur’s albeit a bit contorted in confusion. “My mother is Annabelle Anne Peters.” She held the photo out to Hosea, who paused for a moment before accepting it. His eyes widened and then he passed the photo to Arthur, who also looked on in shock. “And my father is Dutch Van Der Linde.”

“That’s uh-“ Arthur was so dumbfounded, so shocked. Hosea and him gazed at each other, doubtful but willing to be rational about the situation. “an interesting name there.”

“I know, I have heard that a lot.”

“And you are looking for them?” Hosea asked, cocking his head to the side, Arthur returned the photo back to Lou.

“No.” She shot out, inhaling deeply. “They wouldn’t want anything to do with me, I don’t think. I would be a pain in the ass and just dead weight.”

“Damn, girl. For someone who previously spoke so highly of herself, what happened?” Arthur sat up on his elbows, trying to make sense of the coincidence that this was. Hosea was wondering the same things. How did she get a photo of Dutch and Annabelle? How does she even know Annabelle?

“My mother, she wrote stories about my father and well, I tried to be like that for a while, things just didn’t work out for me. They didn't last.”

“You mean robbing?” The more these men talked the more she wondered how they knew so much about her parents. She collected herself, placing the photo back in the journal and slamming it shut.

“I don’t know why I even said anything, I just…”

“Maybe we are thinking about a different Annabelle and a different Dutch, right Arthur?”

“Yeah…” Arthur said half-heartedly, he stretched his arms over his head and let out a fake yawn. “I am gonna’ knock out for the night, nice talk.” Lou shoved her book back into her knapsack and she brought her knees up to her stomach. Her baby blues glittering in the fire’s glow and Hosea sighed.

“Well, darling, if it means anything, I hope you find your peace someday. I don’t know you well, but your parents would be proud of ya’, I am sure.” What he said, he said it genuinely. Lou had read people wrong once before, and she had read people well, this man she read right. She nodded her head, feeling a bit defeated inside by the whole situation.

“Thank you.” She gulped; her eyes slid shut. “My mother never wanted this life for me. I understand that more than ever now, but sometimes I don’t know if understanding means anything. I want this too bad to let it go.”

“You came this far, that has to mean something.” It was silent for a moment, Lou thinking over Hosea’s response. “Get some sleep now, kid. You’ve had a long day I am sure.”

“Yeah, Goodnight.” Lou laid down onto her back, extending her legs out far out from the side of fire. She stared up at the night sky for a moment, admiring the millions and millions of stars that graced her. With the soft dirt of the earth as her pillow, the chirping of crickets to lull her to sleep, and the warm fire, she eased into a deep sleep that she didn’t know she had in her. A slumber that she had needed for many, many months.


	11. Chapter 10: Find Your Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Lou meets the mysterious strangers, she comes to find out that they weren't all that great. She made the mistake of trusting the wrong people, yet again. They have the things that she wants and needs now more than ever, and she is going to do everything in her power to get them back.

_“Look Louie, doll.” She looked down to him and they both held each other’s sharp gazes. “I don’t know where we are supposed to be, but this feels too damn right to be wrong. I am a sidekick to one of the best gunslingers in all this world and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would follow you to the end.” Her eyebrows softened, tears nearly flowing from her eyes and she smiled._

_“I am glad you’re here, Alex. I am glad you came with me.” She pressed herself to him for a caring embrace, the man who she would always call her brother and her heart. He would always be there with her, in all her doubts and mistakes, in all her confidence and victories. She wouldn’t want it any other way._

…

“ALEX!” Louis screamed, her voice cracking, her body shaking as she shot up from her once peaceful slumber. Sweat pooling on her skin, strands of her black hair stuck to her forehead, her chest heaving, her pupils dilated as the sun bled into her vision and she squinted. Her blurry vision caught sight of the smoky fire; its embers still hot from the night before. She rubbed her fingers over her eyes, and closed her eyes, trying to steady her breathing. Her shoulders relaxed, sagging over her lower body as her hands fisted over the dirt.

…

_"If you fall in love with another man, he very much will replace me. Love does that."_

_"Not the love that I have for you. That love will never be replaced."_

…

“Shhh.” She said to herself, she raised a palm up to sit over her chest, where the wooden pendant rested on her bosom, uncontrollable tears gradually shedding from the corners of her eyes. “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay…” Her words trailed off and she started to rock back and forth, the sobs started to force themselves from her throat. She dropped to the dirt floor and grabbed her fallen white Stetson, pressing it hard over her face. “I’m sorry.” She choked out, her entire body consumed by the shaking, her free hand fisting harder at the ground.

…

_“And then we are gonna’ have a big house. It will be so damn big that you’ll always be getting lost, and I am always going to have to come find you.” Alex clarified aloud, his smile widening as he glanced down at Louis’s blushing face._

_“We will be able to play hide and seek for days.”_

_“That’s right, Louie, the best games of hide of seek we will ever play.” Jax snorted from his place on the other side of the fire. Brian, Richard, and Carson mostly keeping to themselves. The group had been together for a few days now, Lou was getting used to the company, Alex was always being overly cautious about them. Alex narrowed his eyes at Jax, Lou looked on intrigued and curious._

_“Something wrong?” Alex spat out, he had been quite cold with Jax and ever since their groups had come together._

_“Well, it’s just a girl like Lou, she might rather have a whole damn castle to herself is all. Not some stupid house.” Lou gulped, her hand balled into a fist as she glanced between Jax and Alex, the staring contest of the ages going on between them._

_“Um, I don’t know. I like the house idea. It will be a nice place to, um, settle. A castle is a lot of work to build.” Alex’s gaze tilted in her direction and he smiled._

_“You? Lou Van Der Linde? Settling? I can’t believe my ears.” Alex parted his lips to respond, he was going to say something along the lines of Lou wanting to hit a big score, to settle with, and how Jax didn’t know anything about her._

_“This is a long time from now, Jax. I love the heist too much to give it up.” Alex’s expression immediately softened with hurt, and he drew away from the fire, just a bit. This did not go unnoticed by Lou, but she made the regretful mistake of ignoring it._

_“That’s the Lou that I know.” Jax chuckled, Lou released a feigned laugh in kind, and she reached a hand over to Alex’s side._

_“Right Alex? It will be a while from now.”_

_“Whenever you want that, Lou, it will be waiting for ya’. I just want you to be happy is all.” Alex responded, forcing a smile on his moustached face._

…

She wished she had that big house sometimes, the one she could get lost in. Other times she knew that she would miss the dirt earth too much to let it go. Even in all these troubling times, this lifestyle had given her things that she never thought she could have. For these past few months, she had been lost in that conflict within her. At any point in time she could steal a load of cash and escape to wherever no one could find her. In fact, she didn’t need money to even do that. She knew how to survive, and she knew how to build a nice cabin up in the mountains, where no one would find her. Something always held her back though, something prevented her from isolating herself in those mountains, and she didn’t know what.

Lou inhaled sharply as she rose, her face red and wet from all the tears. Her meltdown had luckily subsided but the anxious ball that was sitting her throat wasn’t going anywhere. This was often an occurrence for her, thinking about the past and wishing things were different, wishing she hadn’t made the mistakes she had. She would dream of Alex often but sometimes she couldn’t handle it, it was her fear of seeing him in her dreams that kept her from her sleep. Lou cocked her head towards the fire, it was then she noticed that the other two men had packed up and left. It must had been midday; they must have left early if they were hunting. She didn’t think anything of it, mysterious characters indeed but she wasn’t one to mingle in people’s business currently in her life. She regretted saying everything she said to those men. It was odd how much they knew about her parents, and anytime she thought about her parents all she felt was more guilt and misery. Lou brought her hand out to grab her knapsack, but her hand touched the dirt where it would have been. Her head jerked in its direction; it was gone. She patted hard around at the ground in disbelief, then she jumped to her feet and scanned the rest of the area for anything out of the ordinary. Perhaps her bag was here, she just kicked it in her sleep, or a rodent had dragged it maybe?

“What the fuck?” She breathed out, panic consuming her completely as she kicked her boots around at the dirt. Was she going crazy? What the hell happened to her- “Son of a bitches!” She was an idiot. “That’s the last time I will ever trust anyone for shit! MOTHER…” She kicked harder at the ground, starting to throw her fists around as rage consumed her. She needed that bag. Not only did it have all her money in it, but it had her mother’s journal and the photo and her favorite knife and her compass and plenty of other items that she needed. She glared down at the path, eyes following the horse tracks that went in that direction, but she knew that they had to have finished hunting by now and if they hadn’t, she could cut them off. This was the only way out of the ridge, the lake front, and the Grizzlies valley that she knew of. It was why she had come around this way when tracking down Harris. Just her goddamned luck, at least she knew their names.

She grabbed her rifle and hauled it over her shoulders. God, that’s another she needed that they have: Cigarettes. Lou began her way up the trail, instead of in their direction. The Grizzlies was big, but there was no doubt she would come across them eventually. She dragged her feet as she walked, humming to herself, annoyed and angry with the situation. They better hope she never gets to them, she will gladly kill them both, just like she did Harris.

“Bunch of stupid, lying ass, little thieves.” She huffed out, it was another hour or so before she came across the Inn that was nearby: Eagle’s Curve. It was smack dab in the middle of nowhere, but it received a lot of business, considering that this path also lead to Annesburg. As she came upon the Inn, she continued around to the stables, where the stable manager was sitting on a stool, carving a stump of wood. He raised his head when he saw her coming, a chubby old man with big rosy cheeks and a greying brown beard.

“Ahhh, the beautiful young bounty hunter. Any luck, finding that hell bound soul?” He let out a noise as he hopped off the stool, limping on his good leg as he entered further into the stables to get her horse.

“Yes, I did get him, but I also ran into some other trouble.”

“Trouble? Out here? There’s hardly anyone that heads out towards that way?” His breathes became heavy as he lifted her saddle onto her horse’s back, securing it under her horse’s belly and fastening it.

“That’s what I thought, a bunch of thieves posing as hunters stole my belongings.”

“Hmm, that so?” He brought her stallion out, holding the reins out for her to take. After selling the old man’s horse from months ago, she traded it for an orange and white Appaloosa, a fine horse indeed. Lou patted her horse on the snout, her lips quirking up at one side.

“Good Girl, Freedom. That a’ girl.” She whispered to her horse, rubbing her cheek along the side of her snout, Freedom neighed in response. “I will find’em. Two men, one a little older than the other. They were wearing long fur coats, new around here, must have come from up north.”

“Haven’t seen any newcomers around lately, but I am sure if this all happened recently, they can’t be too far away.”

“That’s my thoughts as well.” She grabbed her horse’s saddle, about to mount her and head on her way. She stopped and turned to the stable manager with a friendly smile. “I wish I could pay you more for your services, but all of my money was taken.”

“I understand, you just worry about yourself now, Miss. I wish you luck.”

“Thank you, stay safe.” She pulled herself up onto Freedom’s back, starting with a light trot out onto the road. She pondered for a moment, which route she was going to take. She could cut them off at town, but there was no guarantee that town was where they were headed. She could head back towards the Grizzlies, the ride there wouldn’t take nearly as long as the walk here. Eventually she could come across them, they could be anywhere by now. She knew though, that if she didn’t have her horse, she wouldn’t have any luck catching up to them. She decided to ride back, and the ride had split the time getting there in half. She followed the horse tracks down the lake, thankfully they were still fresh. The horse track stopped and then doubled behind as though they had headed back, but she knew better. Footsteps remained in the dirt and she could tell that at least one set of hooves hadn’t turned back, it trailed along up into where the mountains came together.

Lou dismounted Freedom, she patted her horse on the neck and lodged her hunting rifle under the saddle. If there was anything that she was thankful for, it was the fact that these assholes didn’t try to take her pistols. They would be stupid to so since she never took them off her hips. She walked up into where the path followed, the ridges surrounding the Grizzlies lake pinched off into this single space. She heard noises from up ahead, sharp and exhausted breathes, loud grunts, the distant neigh and trot of a horse here and there. She crouched down, hands on her pistols as she moved closer and closer towards the sounds. She took cover behind a bush to be silent and unseen. As she peeked up over the slight incline in the path, she caught sight of a man, hunched over a dead bear carcass, skinning it and meticulously gathering its meat. She immediately recognized the blue fabric of the coat and she bit her bottom lip, eyebrows furrowing, her eyes searching for the second man, the older one. Perhaps he was gone, the tracks not far behind her signaled that he might have left.

Lou was usually patient, but she simply wanted her thing back. She removed one of her pistols and then stood up from her hiding spot. She sucked in a deep breath and then sprinted at Arthur from behind. She latched onto his shoulders and swung her body out, rolling him over onto his back. He let out a shout in surprise. She pressed her knees against his biceps, to keep his arms down, and she aimed her pistol at his face.

“Wow, what in the hell!” He struggled to get out from under her and slapped him across the face with her bare hand.

“Stop moving, or I will shoot you dead.” He immediately stopped, a scowl growing onto his stubbled face, irritation echoing from his sharp gaze.

“Look, what the hell is your problem, girl! You’re goddamned crazy!”

“You, and your friend…” She spat between clenched teeth. “Took my shit.” She put extra emphasis on ‘my’, jaw tightening as she snarled at him.

“That was Hosea, alright! I told him not to do it, you weren’t worth our goddamned time, but he insisted.”

“Where the fuck is he?”

“He went back to our camp.” Lou rolled her eyes, why do men always feel the need to leave out the important details? She shoved the barrel under his chin and leaned down closer to his face, close enough for their breathes to exchange, fanning out over each other’s faces.

“And where is your camp?!” She ground out, Arthur let out a rough laugh.

“Oh damn, I am not telling you shit. That’s none of your business.”

“Whether you tell me or not, I will find it. I am good at those types of things.” She stated confidently as she reeled back, he winced in pain and she forced more pressure onto his biceps. “You either tell me, or I kill you and then I will find him myself.”

“Damn, just like your father, for christ’s sake! Get off me, women!” She was taken by surprise at his words, she should have known better. It was obvious. They knew her parents, and it wasn’t from some stories told at the local taverns. They knew Van Der Linde, personally. They knew Annabelle. Everything came rushing back to her and it was the worst time for it to happen too. Arthur took advantage of her shock and bucked himself up, taking the chance to flip her over onto her back. He grabbed the pistol and threw it from her. “You’re crazy as all hell.” She fought against his hold on her wrist, attempted to throw her legs up at his crotch but he straddled his hips over her thighs and kept her still. “Now I am going to let you go, and you are going to calm your shit, ya’hear?” They both shared the harshest glares for a moment, before Lou broke the contact and tilted her head away. Arthur got off her, patting himself down as he came to stand, adjusting the collar of his coat. Lou followed, coming to her feet and grabbing her gun off the ground. She heard a click from behind her and Arthur was pointing his own pistol at her.

“Put the guns down, I am not dealing with that, today.” She rolled her eyes again as she pulled her guns from their holsters and tossed them off into the soft dirt in front of her. She raised her hands up and turned to face Arthur, his eyes inspecting her from head to toe. “Listen, Hosea has your stuff, that’s not my fault.”

“You could have stopped him!” She was trying not to bring up the fact that they knew her father, maybe he didn’t realize he said anything.

“It was not my place. You see, Hosea does everythin’ for a reason. I simply suggested that you were crazy, and I was goddamned right.” As the conversation continued, as Arthur continued to hold the gun aimed at her, she recognized that she didn’t have the upper hand and she wasn’t going to get it anytime soon.

“Those items meant a lot to me. If you help me get them back, I will be out of your hair.” Arthur stared at her for a moment, thinking over her offer, or she thought he was thinking at least. If he was thinking, then it certainly wasn’t for a long time.

“No, I don’t think so. I can already see you are the type of gal’ to go pistol crazy.” She crossed her arms and stomped her foot, letting out a growl.

“I AM ASKING POLITELY FOR MY THINGS.” Arthur grinned, he cocked his head at her, amused by her tantrum.

“Life just isn’t all gonna’ go your way, kid.” He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, pistol still aimed at her, his horse was not far up ahead grazing, it started over to him. She watched, helpless as he held the gun towards her, backing up closer towards his horse. “See ya’ around.” As soon as the gun left her direction, as soon as Arthur was hopping onto his horse and riding off, she grabbed her pistols from the ground and started shooting at him. She ran up the slope after him, it dipped down again and Freedom was wildly trotting around, whinnying in anticipation. Arthur galloped past her, moving fast on his way towards the path out of the Grizzlies. Lou climbed onto Freedom as she started making her way after Arthur, kicking her heels at the back of Freedom’s legs.

“Come on, Freedom! RIDE!” She followed Arthur up the ridge and down the path that would soon lead towards the Inn and the fork towards Annesburg. She wasn’t that far behind him, his hips upward as he rode fast. Arthur peaked over his shoulder, a wide grin on his face.

“Nice try, Girl!” And he cut into the forest, skillfully weaving his horse between the pines, headed down slope, down the hill side. Lou stopped at the edge of the forest, her nostrils flared, and she turned Freedom back towards the path. “Ya!” Lou was determined to cut Arthur off; she knew this path would eventually lead to the end of this hill and out into a clearing of grassland. After a few minutes she thought she had made a mistake, until she saw him barreling out into the grassland and she rode fast out after him. When he saw that she was still following close behind, he made a turn out further onto the path. They passed the crossroads sign and he went down the path in the fork that lead towards Valentine. “HAHAHA! YOU’RE PRETTY GOOD!” He yelled out behind him, she kicked faster, from the corner of her vision she could see a train cutting across. She bit the inside of her cheek, urging her horse to go faster.

“Faster, Freedom! Faster! COME ON!” She almost cried out, preyed to whatever gods she believed in, maybe even to the universe that she would catch him before the train came through. Arthur crossed the tracks, her head turned to glance at the front of the train, chugging along and the only barrier between her and her thief. She made a call; she knew she wasn’t going to make it. Freedom was growing tired beneath her; the trek was far and fast, and she knew it was too much for her loyal stead. She hesitantly pulled back on the reigns, eyebrows lowered and focused on Arthur her turned around from the other side of the tracks to face her. He made a fake bow and then steadily kept on down towards Valentine. “Dammit.” The train passed over the tracks and Freedom finally stopped, breathing hard underneath her. Lou patted her horse with a sigh, shaking her head the whole time. “It’s alright, we’ll get them. I am sure of it.”

As she was catching her breath, waiting for the train to pass, she realized something: That was the most fun she had had in weeks. Even if she was angry, it made her feel like herself again, it made her adrenaline pump, her heart beat fast, it made life flow back into her soul. She couldn't help but smile to herself, despite the situation. She grabbed the wooden pendant at her neck. She was on a mission now.


	12. Chapter 11: A Town Called Valentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou sets out, with relentless determination, to find Arthur and Hosea. Her journey in the town of Valentine, putting her on the right trail. Yet, she makes a few too many mistakes, gets ahead of herself, and then everything becomes lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To keep things in line with the RDR2 story line, the gang is in Valentine as of right now, meaning that Lou is fairly close to them.

The night halted Lou’s search for Arthur and this so called ‘camp’. She knew that it was a great setback to her plans, but if she left early in the morning, first light, she would have a chance. It had been a while since she had come through Valentine, five months to be exact, following all the chaos with the Cornwall train. She didn’t steal anything; she was too tired, and grief ridden to do such a thing at the time. She was sure that the law had attempted an investigation, at the very least, to solve the mystery behind the dead bodies sitting around with no motives. Valentine folk called it the ‘Shadow Mystery’, she didn’t think it was a very clever name, but she didn’t really care all that much about that night to be honest. It was the night before that bothered her the most, the one she constantly tried to suppress from memory.

Lou reined her horse at the front of the Saloon, she was starving but she wasn’t sure how she was going to get food without any money. She certainly didn’t feel like going hunting, and she needed more ammo if she was going to get anywhere near Arthur and Hosea. She entered the Saloon, she liked it when no one paid her any attention, it made her feel like she wasn’t the only women in the building wearing pants. Piano music played loudly, drunken laughter and commotion, shaking the building whole with excitement and celebration. She walked up to the bar and waved for the bartender, he walked over, giving her a friendly smile.

“What can I help you with, ma’am?”

“Looking for the richest man here, any idea where he would be?” The bartender reeled back a bit, having not expected her forward attitude. He pointed to one of the poker games in the very back, where about four men sat around the table, playing their luck.

“At that table right there, ma’am. The one in the black boulder hat.”

“What’s his name?”

“Oh, he comes here often, ma’am. His name is Creed Jinkins, I believe.”

“Sure.” She winked at the bartender with a nod of thanks, taking her hat off as she worked the room towards this Creed fellow. It was almost as easy that, all she had to do was ask around and people would tell her anything. They underestimated her, any woman they underestimated really. It appeared that a few other broads had tried to get Creed’s attention, but he was so hooked on his game that none of them had succeeded. She could feel their dirty looks as she rounded closer to the table. She would succeed, where they had failed and the lot of them knew it too. “Oh, Creed, I can’t believe its you!” She exclaimed, plopping right down onto his lap, leaving him and the other men at the table speechless. She placed her hat down on the table and wrapped her arms around the man’s neck. He must have been an accountant or something. He was a middle-aged white man in a plaid suit, a fancy curled up moustache and a smoothly shaven face. She kissed him on the forehead delicately.

“Uh-Uh, Miss I-“ He stammered, completely overtaken by her presence.

“You promised the next time we saw each other you would give me a night with you.” The other men at the table cooed their approval, waiting for the one named Creed’s response.

“I-Uh-I-“

“Shhh...” She placed a finger to his lips, sending the other men at the table a wink and using her other hand to grab her hat, placing it on her head. “Come with me.” She grabbed his hand and guided him up from his seat. “Divide the money evenly boys. He will be mine for the rest of the night.” They all hooted and hollered, she waved at the bar tender, signaling that she was taking a room. Creed was so speechless and dumbfounded that he let her guide him all the way to the nearest empty room. She gently pushed him inside and closed the door behind her, her back facing him.

“Miss, I-Uh-I’m so sorry, but I don’t know who you are.” Lou sighed, turning and leaning back against the door, she locked it. She was a completely different person now; the façade had ended.

“Yes, I am aware.” She removed her pistol and pointed it at him. “Get on the bed, please.” Creed’s mouth dropped open and he shakily moved to sit on the edge of the bed with his hands up.

“Al-Alright, we can talk about this.” He forced out, having a hard time saying each word correctly due to the fear that she would shoot him.

“I am not gonna’ kill ya’, ya’ idiot. Just get on the bed.” He looked down where he was sitting and then back to her. She gestured the gun and cocked the hammer for added intimidation. He did as she said, eventually lying fulling on the bed on his back. “Thanks.” She looped around the bed and as she came closer, he flinched back, hands held high.

“Wait, stop! Hel-“She pistol whipped him, knocking him out successfully and leaving a nasty mark on his face. She holstered her gun and then proceeded to go through his pockets, she found about forty dollars in his pocket and a golden pocket watch she could easily sell or trade. She left the watch after considering that perhaps it was of value to him. She wouldn’t want anybody taking something from her. She shoved the money into her pocket and then stood their wondering what to do next. She turned towards the curtains that covered the double doors leading out the balcony, an idea came to mind when she saw their consecutive rope holders. She pulled them off the curtains, shoving them out to the sides so that she could use the doors. She brought the ropes back to the bed and tied to unconscious Creed’s hands to the bedposts. When he wakes up, she will hopefully be long gone from Valentine before then.

She left out the balcony, it stood off the side of the building, where not many people were hanging around. It was roughly a five-foot drop to a crate that was sitting below. She took the drop, falling onto the top of the crate, but failing to keep her balance. She tilted off the side of the crate and hit the ground. She laid back on the ground, groaning a bit as she felt her backside throb with pain from the fall.

“What in the world are ya’ doing, girl?!”

“Uh…” She sat up on her elbows, to find a beggar sitting against the sides of the building. “Nothing much, how ‘bout you?”

“Just sitting here…” Lou stood up, bending over to grab her hat as it fell off. “Ey, you got any money?” She itched her head and waltzed over to stand beside the old man. He had no shoes on, his pant legs were ripped up to the knees and he was shirtless.

“Here.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out the moneys he had taken from Creed, separating a few dollars of it. She then handed it to the old man.

“Why…” He took the money and held it close to his chest. “Thank you so much! You have such a kind heart.”

“Your welcome, old man. How about this? You never saw me?”

“Of course, I never saw ya’.” She smiled at him and waved her goodbye as she turned the corner of the Saloon and made way for Freedom. She just needed a little money is all. Just a little.

She brought her horse a little way out of town, found a tree and took to sleeping under it for the rest of the night. As soon as the light bounced off her face, she was awake, swiftly heading back into town. She first went to the general store and bought herself some canned fruit. She bought a few apples for her horse and a brand-new satchel to put her items in. She then went to the gun store where she bought the necessary ammunitions she would need for her journey. By then she only had a few bucks left, she eventually decided she was going to give it to the old man. She knew she didn’t have much time left before the Creed fellow woke up and escaped his bindings, if he hadn’t already. She would continue back on the trail around Valentine, hopefully catch onto Arthur then. She guided her horse around the corner of the Saloon and as she expected the old man was there. She produced the remaining money and he accepted it gladly, a toothless smile on his lips. It made her feel like she was doing some kind of good with her actions, even if those actions were illegal. She rounded the corner with Freedom, the town was suddenly bustling by then. She patted Freedom on the neck, handing her the second apple she had bought.

“That a’ girl, you ready to head out?”

“THAT’S HER!” She heard from her right and when she looked out in front of the saloon, where Valentine residents moved back and forth along the street. Among the commotion she saw a busted-up Creed, he was pointing at her, a law man heading in her direction. She smiled, for old time’s sake, being chased or chasing someone was fun. She mounted Freedom and then started to gallop off in the opposite direction, looking around at the town folk as they swooped out of the way or gasped at her endeavors.

“STOP HER!” The Sheriff shouted; nobody was going to stop her. Everything would have been fine; she would have gotten out of town if it hadn’t been for one thing. As she was passing the bank, she saw him, she saw the person she hoped she would never see in her entire life. It all happened so fast, she wasn’t paying attention and Freedom bucked back, evading a passing food cart that was heading for the general store. She slid back off her horse, hitting the ground on her back. She immediately came to her feet and her eyes met with his chocolate browns; his eyebrows raised, his mustache, his slicked back black hair all too familiar to her memory bank. The Sheriff had made it to her, arms circling around her and she struggled. Her mind screamed, she wanted to scream his name: Dutch Van Der Linde! He was right there, her father, right in front of her when she was being taken away to the nearest jail cell. She heaved her legs up, fighting against the law and all her father did was watch. He didn’t even know it was her, and she was reminded of her mother’s written words…

_He can never know._

Dutch turned his back to her and entered the bank, a college following behind him. She turned her head and watched as people attempted to calm and reign in Freedom, who was viciously kicking and galloping around. It all happened so fast, but it was so slow. Louis elbowed the Sheriff in the face, his embrace let loose and she squeezed out of his arms, turning to him she was about to fight. As she reached down for her gun, a sharp pain penetrated her skull and then everything went black.

_He can never know._


	13. Chapter 12: A Helping Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou is thrown into a cell, she loses all hope yet again, degrades herself for everything. But yet, without even seeing him, a guardian angel comes to her rescue. It angered her more than anything and her motivation is soon reinstated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait. I just spent like a good portion of my life writing a 50 page paper and I am dying right now. This was the best type of writing, the writing that I need to relieve myself from such a horrible task.

Tears streamed down her face; she was curled up at the corner of the cell with her head buried into her knees. What else was she going to do? All her personal belongings were gone, aside from her most cherished necklace. All of her will to keep going was diminishing, especially as she sat in this cell thinking about Alex. Then, she sees her father. The first time she ever sees her father in the flesh, and he doesn’t even know that she exists. Yet, the embarrassment of his first time seeing her, plagued by her capture under the law? She felt like a disgrace to society and to life.

She had woken only a few hours ago, could barely make sense of her blurry vision but eventually that subsided. What didn’t subside was the throbbing headache she had, it was worse than a hangover, worse than getting shot in all honestly, but she would take getting shot over anything else at the moment. She had another dream about Alex, as usual they would come and go, this one was a particularly harsh one. It reminded her, in perfect detail, of how his death occurred and she couldn’t bare to keep that in her mind after waking. It hurt so bad that she felt like she was dying. The Sheriff had been talking for a while to his fellow lawman. She didn’t care much to listen to their conversation, but she figured it was about her.

**Cling! Cling! Cling!**

“Ey, Sugar pie, you done moping in there?” She sloppily flipped her body around and slouched into the dirty brick corner. She peered at the Sheriff with a stoic gaze, but it was so cold and lifeless that it made him squint his eyes and pity her. “Look, we could go about hanging ya’. We almost did, in fact, but uh-“ The Sheriff glanced over his shoulder at his associate with a wrinkly face deep in thought. “What was that fellow’s name?”

“Greystun, I thin’?”

“Greystone.” The Sheriff exclaimed, snapping his fingers as he had recalled. Lou’s chin dropped to her chest and she fiddled with her thumbs, a tendency she had picked up after Alex’s death.

“I don’t know no, Greystone, feller, Sheriff.” She replied, eyes eventually raising up again to meet the Sheriff’s inquisitive gaze.

“Hmm, well, whether you knew him or not. He insisted on buying you out, so you a’ free lady again.”

“That’s very kind of him.” She nodded with fake enthusiasm, then deadpanned, “I think I will stay here.” She turned her back to the Sheriff again, cheek know crooked on the dirt ridden floor.

“Suit you’self, these cells ain’t ever get full around here. He, uh, left you a letter by the way.”

“I don’t want it.” She muttered back, but her voice echoed out into the small space her body had made in the corner, allowing the Sheriff to hear her loud and clear. He grumbled something under his breath and sifted the letter through the bars. Lou could hear its parchment, sliding across the floor, landing flatly on its side. She closed her eyes and imagined the letter, she imagined a fancy red wax mark on it, with a neat insignia. Anything that would give her some idea of the type of man that this “Greystone” was.

“Lou, what the hell are ya’ doin’? Get the hell up and grab that letter by the balls.” It was Alex’s voice in her head again, she placed her hands over her ears.

“I am not listening to you anymore.” She said aloud, the Sheriff’s exchanged looks between each other before tending back to a game of cards they had started.

“Louis Anne, you are going to grab that goddamned letter and read it.”

_Why? I am pathetic. I don’t belong here on this earth; I deserve to just die in this corner._

“Oh, for Christ’s sake. Yesterday was the most active I have seen ya’ in months.” She felt warmth at her shoulder, a very familiar warmth, familiar enough not to startle her. “Louie, darlin’, Look at me.” Lou turned around, laying onto her back on the cold stone ground. It was Alex, the illusion of him, the hallucination that seemed to follow her everyone. He grinned at her with that handlebar mustache of his, giving her the sweetest wink, a wink she needed more than ever. Droplets trailed from the edges of her eyes down the sides of her face, pooling at the hair above her ear. “This life is more than bounty hunting and stealing, you’ve forgotten that.” He always felt so real, so tangible, she dreamed of him being there. The two of them had spent their share in cells long before they became the expert thieves they had grown into. “Find a reason to remember again.” As he faded into nothingness, she lifted her head up to get a look at the letter. She was hesitant to take in Alex’s words, but she knew that if she didn’t move herself now, she would most likely fall back into the pit his imaginary self-had pulled her from.

Lou inhaled deeply as she came to sit up, crawling across the floor to meet the letter. The lawmen halted as though they were caught in a spotlight. They watched intently as Lou sniffled, wiped a few tears away and lifted the letter up. It was not how she imagined, but she wasn’t going to be picky. Just an average folded piece of paper, with some scribbled words on it, rather elegant cursive though.

“W-What does it say?” Lou raised her eyes up, narrowed them on the men on the other side of the bars.

“You didn’t read it yourselves?” One snorted in response, the other sending him a glare before returning his eyes back to Lou.

“Girl, we ain’t nothing like you. We fine, trustworthy gentleman.” She lifted her chin, her snobby side kicking in.

“Well, then I suppose we keep it that way. Wouldn’t want to share anything demeaning to your fine and gentlemanly status, now would I? Can you let me out?” She came to her feet, hadn’t taken the time to completely see what was on the letter. She shoved it into the pocket of her riding pants and waited patiently for the Sheriff to let her out. He unlocked the cage and as she passed him, he sneered at her with his rotten teeth.

“Now let’s be clear here that I don’t ever want to see ya’ in this town again.”

“You have my word.” Lies. She was going to agree with him to disagree, she knew she would find herself in Valentine again. No one person ever had enough control over her to tell her otherwise.

“Alright,” He placed his hands on his hips. “Your horse is at the stables, might be a price to get’em out, but that ain’t my problem.” He gestured to her things that were sitting in a basket on a table across the room. She swiftly grabbed them, readjusting her holster and fastening the knapsack over her back, not wanting to spend another minute in front of these scum.

“Of course, thanks.” She then ignored any other remark of farewell from the other lawmen, moving quickly out the front door and leaning up against a column on the patio. It was sunrise, meaning that she had been in jail overnight. Arthur and Hosea were gone to her by now. She didn’t want to think about her seeing her father, it could have all been a hallucination from mental instability after all. She reached into her pocket and removed the letter, hands shaking slightly as she looked down and investigated everything but the words. She had a feeling, a gut feeling, that the moment she read this letter her life would change forever. This letter meant something, and Mr. Greystone meant something. She was simply afraid of what it meant for her. She finally took the time to read it, slowly passing her eyes over the fine cursive handwriting. A man of true elegance perhaps? She thought wrong.

_And Here I was thinking you were a Van Der Linde._

_You had been doing so well, I thought you had at least learned the rules of the game by now. The best way to win is to never get caught. A cardinal rule, even the dumbest thieves and criminals know it. Get your head in the game, girl. We are heading out further south. With all your impressive skills, I am sure you’ll find us soon._

_As Expected,_

_Hosea_

She wrinkled the letter up in her fist, teeth digging into her bottom lip as she haphazardly over her shoulder.

“Son’ of a’ Bitch.” She whispered to herself, descending the steps quickly to head out towards the stables. She had no time to waste. Now she just needed to negotiate the release of Freedom. Her way to the stables at the end of town was met with solid stares and whispers amongst residents that were ‘early risers’. She was certain that news had traveled fast regarding her thievery. As she approached the stables, the master was tending to the horses, one of his workers doing the same.

“Excuse me, please?” He turned to her on his heel, looking her up and down with a disgusted glance.

“Hmm, its you that everyone has been talking about?” She crossed her arms into a defense stance, prepared to fight if she needed to.

“Yeah, is there a problem?”

“Yes, you’re goddamned horse.” Lou couldn’t help but smile a bit proudly, just like her, her horse had an inclination for trouble. “I have only had that thing for two days, and boy is she a killer.”

“Sure is, taught her to be, she’s my horse.”

“She wild?”

“No, but when I bought her, she wasn’t to friendly then either.” The stable master motioned for his worker to get the Appaloosa at the stable in the back, prepare her for departure with her real owner.

“What’s her name?”

“Freedom.” The stable master smiled, nodding his head. The worker walking over with the reins in hand as he led an energetic Freedom over to Lou.

“That’s a damn good name for that horse.”

“You bet. She’s the best horse I have ever had the pleasure of riding.”

“Well, here she is.” The man gifted her the reins, there was no fee for anything, no debt for him having to take an extra horse without planning for it because of her getting caught. Lou patted Freedom on the neck, calming her horses quieter neighing.

“Sir, don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but uh, aren’t ya’ gonna charge me?”

“I would, but a man came by earlier, paid for the horse and everything. Seems like you got yourself a guardian angel somewhere.” He jokingly said, Lou held tighter onto the reins.

“Thank you for your help.” She said in a distant breath, mounting Freedom she trotted her way out of the stable and onto the path that would lead her out of town. The whole time she was thinking about what the man said, “…guardian angel…”.

_…The best way to win is to never get caught…_

She kicked her legs back into Freedom and Freedom’s trot soon turned into a steady gallop. She was sick of this teasing, sick of him playing with her, she was going to find him.

“I am coming for ya’, Hosea. You golddarn’ piece of shit.”


	14. Chapter 13: Finders Keepers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lou continues to search for Hosea and Arthur, days of no rest has left her tired and weak. She is considering to take a rest stop, but the decision is made for her when she runs into three very sassy woman in need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post these two chapters together because they sort of were meant to be together.

Lou had been riding for days, she didn’t once stop overnight to take a breather when she knew she should have. Freedom was only able to take her so far; she knew that she was going to have to stop at some point. She had nearly fallen asleep several times, bags under her eyes and her head consistently drooping down if she didn’t move enough. It was early morning, she told herself she would travel just a bit further for the day, perhaps she would find a town. A town meant Hosea, and maybe even Arthur, that son of a bitch wasn’t going to get away. Never caught her ass, she was going to catch him, and she was going to catch him good too. The sun would soon become beating hot, something she was not looking forward too. Lou tiredly adjusted herself on the saddle, taking steady breathes, she patted Freedom on the back for encouragement.

Up ahead she noticed some travelers, she had seen plenty of travelers before, but these one’s seemed to be in some trouble. Even though her trust in strangers had diminished over these past few months, and especially most recently, she was never one to ignore a person in need. As she neared closer, she saw that it was three women, standing next to a tilted wagon. One of the wheels had fallen off it seemed. They were all dressed in somewhat elegant gowns; one was wearing a peasant gown that was long and red with puffy shoulders, another was wearing a light green dress, and the third a light blue sundress. As she drew closer, they caught sight of her. What seemed to be the younger of the two, in the blue dress, jumped up and waved a hand at her.

“Sir, Help!” The oldest one, wearing the red dress slapped her on the shoulder, the youngest grabbed her now aching shoulder and cowered back. The ladies stood there watching, the blonde one was unfazed, annoyed mainly. When Lou was close enough that she was looking down at them, the older woman’s eyes widened, before she collected herself.

“We thought you were a man, what in the world is a woman like you doing dressed like that?”

“Hmm.” She too tired, to argue or defend herself. She dismounted Freedom and stood tall, slightly taller than the older women before her. “Can I help ya’ll?”

“Damn, you look horrible. Did somethin’ happen to ya’?” The one in the blue dressed asked, mildly concerned.

“Haven’t slept for a few days is all.” Louis waved it off, moving to pick up the wheel, she hoped a little bit of stress on her bones would wake her up.

“Wait, what in the world are you…” The eldest grew speechless as she watched Louis single-handedly life the fallen wagon wheel up, she rolled it over to the wagon, inspecting it from all sides.

“Yeah, I suspected. You guys lift the wagon, I will throw this puppy on and fasten it in?” All three women stood there, in another moment of shock, as they watched a woman handle a man’s job. They were so used to men taking care of things, they certainly didn’t expect this. They struggled to lift the wagon, all the while Lou encourage them to keep pushing, she slid the wheel back onto its proper axel. She felt faint from exhaustion, she wiped her hands on her thighs and sighed.

“What-I mean-“ The blonde one was so taken aback, she then decided to just let her arms hang at her sides form the confusion.

“You are strong for such a skinny little thing. You use any of that muscle for work.”

“I carry the lifestyle of a man, that entails being as strong as one.” She explained, then dragged herself back over to Freedom, who also was really with exhaustion.

“Ey, darlin’ wait? You need a place to stay?” She paused alongside Freedom, hand on the grip of her saddle, she peeked over her shoulder at the eldest.

“You guys ain’t gonna rob me are ya’?”

“Well, honestly, we would if you hadn’t been so kind to us.” The blonde admitted, the one in the blue dress slapping her on the shoulder.

“Deary, you need a nice warm meal, some interesting stories and some sleep.” Lou released Freedom’s saddle, she wiped her tired eyes, then placed her palm on Freedom’s neck.

“We both need that.”

“Then come with us. Very rarely has anyone offered their kindness to us, and you seem like a girl with a sturdy head on your shoulders.” The older woman moved along, but Lou didn’t move from her spot. She looked over her shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

“Are ya’ coming, or not?”

“I don’t even know you guys. I have had a lot of bad luck with people I don’t know, even more so, people I thought I knew.”

“Not with us, I am Tilly.” The youngest strode up and held her hand out, the blonde followed, shoving her way in front of Lou to introduce herself.

“My name is Karen.” The older women scowled and waved her hands around.

“Get on the goddamned wagon you both!” The two obediently listened to the wiser woman, she stepped up to Lou and gave her best smile.

“Now, normally I don’t give this amount of kindness to strangers either. Come on, join us. You deserve it. You can sit up there with us, we can tag your horse to the back.” Lou thought for a moment the repercussions over her decision. It would be much safer to simply camp alone, but she did miss a nice conversation. She hadn’t talked to anyone truly for months. She didn’t consider her conversation with Hosea and Arthur much of a conversation. These women seemed nice; femininity hadn’t surrounded her since she had left her aunt’s house. This would be good for her if they kept their word, she would merely have to be cautious is all.

“Al-Alright.” She nodded her head, releasing a breath she didn’t know she was holding. She reined Freedom to the back of the wagon, then moved to hop onto the seat with the other three ladies. It was a tight squeeze, but they all managed. “And what’s your name?” She asked the older woman, feeling something of nostalgia towards an older female figure, a caring one at that. Even if she wasn’t carrying to her friends, she was nice to Lou at least.

“You can call me, Ms. Grimshaw.” Lou sent her smile, and for the rest of the ride she officially rested her eyes as the others spoke about mundane topics. She was too tired to keep up with any of the gibberish they were saying. As the sun split the day in the half, the ride extended longer than she expected, and her eyelashes fluttered at her cheeks. She nodded off into a short sleep, waking up when they had stopped at what appeared to be a small settlement of wagon of the side of a lake front. With other people?

“I am telling you, he won’t like this one bit, Grimshaw!” A male voice sounded from the other side of the wagon, the three others had stepped down from the seat, spilling out to their various sections of the camp.

“I will decide what he will and won’t like, thank you very much.” She heard the woman’s snarled reply and took that as a sign to be on the alert. That short nap gave her some energy at least, energy that she could fight with. She fixed her Stetson back onto her head, hopping off to find Ms. Grimshaw and a strange man on that side of the wagon. Ms. Grimshaw faced her and sent her a toothy grin.

“I thought you said that you were alone.” Ms. Grimshaw cocked her head to the side, leaned back in confusion.

“Oh dear, I said no such thing, but no one will mean you harm here. Did you have a nice short nap?” Lou ignored Grimshaw’s question to hold her glare with the man, he was roughly cut with long greasy black hair and a scar on his face. Lou’s hand snapped to her pistol and she pointed it up at the man, who also returned it with the rifle that was sitting in his hand. Ms. Grimshaw huffed angrily, she reached a hand out to Lou’s arm, guiding it down so she was pointing it at the ground. “I don’t want to see any of this.” She looked to the man. “She is a guest, John.”

“A guest that could get us killed.”

“Guest who?” Lou heard from behind her, her eyes widened, and her entire body tensed up as those words trickled into her ear. Her face went red and stern, her grip tightening on her drawn pistol, she holstered it. She turned on her feet, bit by bit, just as Ms. Grimshaw sought to make a reply. Arthur’s expression contorted into shock, and his mouth opened to release some sort of obscenity, but she was faster.

“You motherfucker!” She angrily shouted, sprinting towards him, and tackling him to the ground. John had nearly shot her if Ms. Grimshaw hadn’t pulled his gun down and a loud band echoed into the sky. Arthur and Lou’s hats flew off their heads, fluttering upwards with the wind capping out under them, descending them to the ground slowly. The other members of the camp turned their attention to the scene. Lou had the upper hand, she threw a sharp knuckled fist across Arthur’s jaw, his head snapped to the side and he halted in his struggle beneath.

“Wait one goddamned second. Holy Shit!” He raised a gloved hand up to his jaw and held it, already swelling form her hard hit. She wrung out her hand, glaring down at him. “Where the fuck did ya’ learn to punch like that?”

“It’s called being pissed off.” She brought her forearm down on his neck, not giving him another second to breath. “Where the fuck is that shit face, Hosea?” Arthur gurgled a response, but it wouldn’t have been an answer. She failed to pin his legs like in their last encounter and he wrapped his own legs around her and flipped them over. She used this momentum to keep rolling them, scratching, and fisting at each other.

“YOU’RE CRAZY!” Arthur shrilled.

“FUCK YOU!” She replied.

The camp had gathered around to the see the show firsthand. Eventually the two rolling out of each other’s grip to stand and they turned to each other. They got into their fighting stances, unrelenting determination between the both to win. Lou the more aggressive competitor swung her foot under his leg and brought her knee down on his chest. He grabbed her leg as he fell and hurled her good few feet away. She raised her head to where she laid near a table, on the table were lined up beer bottles, and her first thought was to grab one. As she crawled to her feet with a grunt, she grabbed a bottle broke it against the table and turned to Arthur.

“You know you’re a big fucking asshole, your friend and you both.”

“Look, enough of this shit, can you be calm and tamed for just a minute. You’re like a goddamned ball of rage.” Lou shook her head, eyebrows still furrowed, she didn’t care to pay attention to their newfound audience, didn’t care to understand their role in this story.

“None of this would have happened if you hadn’t just let me have my shit! If you had just moved along.” Arthur wiped his bloodied lip; he inspected his person to find that he was covered in dirt.

“You put up a good fight, kid, I will give ya’ that.” She grew angrier, he wasn’t listening, it was like her feelings didn’t matter. She knew that he didn’t know her, why should he care? But she wished he would try to care, try to understand, she had come this far, and she didn’t even know what for.

“What game are you trying to play here? What the fuck is your problem?” She ground out, chest heaving as she tried to collect her breath. The bottle slid from her grip and collided with the dirt ground. “I just want my stuff. The stuff that matters.”

“Well, by god, I can’t believe my eyes.” She rolled her eyes as she turned to look at the deep and rich voice. From his feet to his head, from his shiny boots, to his ironed black pants, button up red vest, white long sleeved shirt with wrist cuff links that had flare, and then… dark chocolate brown eyes, a thick mustache that hovered above his lips, and the silky, greasy hair that she had shared with him since the moment she was born, and a cleanly shaven face. “Is that ‘the’…” He forced emphasis on ‘the’, “Louis Anastasia Van Der Linde, I have heard and read so much about?” Hosea standing behind him with his arms crossed and this shit-eating grin on his face.

Lou squinted, she thought she was seeing things again, but he was real. He was materialized before her, the Dutch Van Der Linde that she had only ever imagined meeting. She didn’t know how she thought this moment would go, she had thought of this very moment millions of times, but for some reason that was all beside her. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, head slowly bowing, and her vision started to blur. She lost her footing and leaned up against the table, a stranger from the audience hesitated to step forward and help her. Her breathing was growing rapid, her heartbeat beating faster than a horse’s strides. She fought hard to keep her eyes open, but then the sounds around her became muffled, and her vision went black completely.

“Get some…” And that was the last words she heard from her father as she descended into the cold dirt earth.


	15. Chapter 14: Tears of Whiskey, Guilt, and Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis wakes up in a tent, being tended to by an Irish sweetheart. She makes haste to escape but is too late as her father approaches the tent and successfully traps her. The Van Der Lindes have only one choice: to finally confront each other.

She twisted her body, scratchy fabric shifted beneath her, an unearthly creak following, the sound of footsteps on wood, the chirping of crickets muffled by a barrier. And then soon the scent of lilac at her side, easing her into an awakened state. She let out a gasp for air, aches and pains crawling up her back and into her neck and head. A smooth palm rested on her cheek, a wet, lukewarm rag dabbed at her head. Lou’s eyes gently fluttered open, she sniffled and winced as she attempted to lift herself.

“Ey, it’s alright lass, you are safe.” A soft Irish voice cooed into her consciousness, Lou’s face contorted in fear.

“N-No…” Lou stuttered out, “I-I am not I-“

“Shhh, deary, you had fainted earlier, you are only-“

“Alex, I-“ Tears streamed down her face, even if she wasn’t crying, her body was way ahead of her. Lou reached a hand out for the closest thing, effectively grabbing the unknown woman’s forearm. “I can’t be here.” She remembered it, it also slowly came rushing back to her and all she felt pathetic. Of all the people, and he did know about her, he knew about her because of Hosea. Hosea must have told him how sad of a human life she was, not worthy of the Van Der Linde title. Lou’s eyes shot open and she jolted upright.

“Wow! Now calm yourself, that’s enough.” Lou’s frantically looked around at her surroundings. She was in a tent, on a twin sized cot. Off to the side of the bed was the women and she was cautiously holding her hands up towards Lou in defense, wide green eyes looking upon her.It was dark outside, she could see as such since the flaps were wide open on one side. There was table towards the opening, a lantern sitting on top, beside it, leaning up against the larger beams was a tiny bookshelf with at least twenty or so books organized on it. Lou closed her eyes, and sunk her head into her chest, her greasy black hair falling over her face. The woman cautiously returned closer to the side of the bed, she planted herself on the edge and lifted Lou’s head up. Lou let her, eyes still closed as the strange woman pressed the rag to her face. “Had a bit of a doozy there did ya’? With what you are going through? Make’s sense.”

“I have to get out of here. I do, as soon as possible.” She dropped her hand into her lap and smiled, freckled cheeks lighting up with rose.

“Oh, lass, I wish it was that easy. You damn near hit the ground, if Dutch hadn’t caught ya’ in time. Not to mention, you look like you haven’t eaten in days. Probably why you fainted if you ask me.”

“No, it wasn’t because of that.” Lou opened her eyes, violent blues gazing upon her face. She then looked down, hand fisting in the plaid covers, trying to control her breathing as she realized her situation. “Where is he?”

“I can go get him, but perhaps you should-“

“Don’t get him, please. Just tell him I would like to leave, there doesn’t have to be any words between us.” The orange haired lady cocked her head, eyebrows turned down.

“What are you running from?”

“Nothing.” She spat, suddenly aggravation and annoyance seeping into her. “Just-fine.” The woman was shoved up onto her feet as Lou swung her legs over the bed forcefully. She soon recognized the pads of her feet against the hard wood, she glanced around under the bed and around. “Where did my boots go?”

“Put Ms.Grimshaw in charge of patching ‘em up…” Lou didn’t bother turning her head to the entrance of the tent. She only raised her gaze to the woman who smiled at her, waved and then left without another word, drawing the tent flaps shut as she exited. “Those things were in bad condition, that’s for sure.” He snorted, she could hear his boots as he moved around the platform that was between the tent and the earth. “They’ve seen some wear and tear.” She heard the clinging of glasses, then the screech of wood on wood, then plop. “Look at me.” His voice was lower, before he was trying to lighten the mood, now he was just sticking with it. “Louis?” Lou did, she sucked up all of that fear and faced it. She looked at Dutch, right into his dark eyes.

She didn’t realize what this feel like, it was like a dam had busted open and all of her emotions were flooding through. He was her. She saw it in her nose, in the creases of her eyes, in her hair. While she looked his face up and down, head pondering thoughts that she never thought she would have to fully acknowledge, he was doing the same. His eyes narrowed, then opened wide, then his expression returned to a stoic shield. Lou would procure that same shield, when she too didn’t want anyone to know what she was feeling. She then noticed he had placed a bottle of whiskey on the table that he was now sitting at, empty chair on the other side and. Of course, it was furthest from the entrance.

“You look just like her…” He breathed in heavy, like his almost painful to see it, but that shield din’t crack. “Like my Annabelle.” The way he said it, she didn’t want to believe it, so she shoved it out of her mind. His chin fell to his chest and he grabbed the whiskey bottle, filling both glasses. “Come, sit with me. We have a lot to discuss, don’t we?” It was an out of body experience, Lou lifted herself up from the cot and gravitated to the empty wooden chair. She sat down, sadness in her eyes, pain and anger and a whole whirlwind of everything she had tried to suppress.

She grabbed the whiskey bottle and brought it to her lips, Dutch’s eyes widened as he watched her chug three whole gulps from the bottle. She placed it down, not even a wince in her jaw and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

“Yes, lets talk.”

“Damn, this must be heavy for you.” Dutch looked apologetic, pity written on his expressions and that only severed to fuel Lou’s angry side. “I’m sorry for that.”

“Yes, it has been heavy for me, but ya’know I worked hard to shove it deep down. And then, Hosea had to get into my business and ruin it all.” Dutch sat up a big straighter, arms crossed over his chest in a defensive manner.

“He only wanted to bring something to my attention, something I should have known.” Dutch was even and collected, obviously trying to hide something in Lou’s eyes but she knew he was a seasoned veteran at keeping himself straight.

“Is that so? Because in the process he took away all of my things and forced me to go on a wild goose chase after him.”

“Well, why were those things of such value to you?” Lou’s expression softened, she shook her head and brought her actual glass up to her lips. The thick brown liquid, smoothly ran down her throat. “He didn’t force you to do anything. If you were shoving this deep down, you wouldn’t have ran after him.”

“They belong to me.”

“Yes, and now they are mine.” He plainly explained, as though those words didn’t hit her hard enough. “I read the journals.” It was difficult for Dutch to shoot those words out and he didn’t understand why. “They revealed a lot.”

“I know they did.” Lou grabbed the bottle and tried to pour herself some more. She was feeling the alcohol, days of no food and no sleep were making her a light-weight, and the last thing she needed was to get drunk in front of her father.

“And, the whole time I was reading, I couldn’t help but ask myself why you never came for me?” Lou’s entire body froze up, her grip on the whiskey bottle tightened and her eyes were hooked on the glass. “You went through such an effort to go after the items, but you never went looking for me? And you’ve must have had those for years, I didn’t even know you existed.”

_“You get so held up over that stuff. It’s in the past.”_

_“I mean…It bothers me that, my mother never wanted me to live this way.”_

_“But it’s what makes you happy. It’s what you were born to do._

“I-I-“ Lou was so afraid. She wished Alex was here, she wished he was there to guide her and show her a path. He was gone though. He had been gone ever since she had gotten out of that cell in Valentine.

“Yes?” Dutch tilted his head, that stoic shield had taken over once again. Louis took a deep breath, downed her glass of whiskey and then she raised her gaze fully to meet her father’s.

“Before I ran away, before I found those journals, I had always been told that my father was a wealthy manager of the family’s trading company and when I asked about my mother I would never get a good enough answer.” Lou gulped, she had never spoken so frankly to someone before, she had never poured her heart out to anyone like this other than Alex. “I never felt like I belonged, I was also hiding from aunt and hiding from that lifestyle. I never felt safe.” She snatched the bottle, poured more for herself, had a drank. “But then…” She sniffed. “I found the answer, the answer my mother never wanted me to find and know. She wanted me to be in that over-sized mansion of a home and life the rest of my days married, producing little runts, smiling to my fellow onlookers, but I never wanted that. When I found out that there had always been another option for me, I took that option and I ran with it. I ran away and I became a thief, but I was always afraid of what my mother would think of me if she found out…” A tear drop slid down Lou’s cheek, she swiftly brought a finger up to wipe it away. “What you would think of me if you knew I existed? Those journals contained everything before my mother left and they gave me a choice when I needed it most.” The whole time Dutch had been listening intently, falling into her story, into the character she had made for him. He sat there in silence for a moment and Lou knew then that he had probably already decided to give up on her, to cast her aside, to-

“It’s a lot for me to…” He inhaled through his thick mustache, “… take in.” He swallowed, “That I have a daughter and that’s shes always been around. I guess I always knew that Annabelle was hiding something. Boy, that woman kept her secrets well.” Dutch finally took his first drink, downed the glass like Lou had many times. “I would have taken ya’, if Annabelle had told me the truth, I would have rode like hell to come save you from that prison. But ya’know, I think it makes for a finer story this way.” His lip quirked up slightly, he took the bottle and poured himself another glass. “Blood or no blood, I sure as hell ain’t letting you leave now. If you’re a Van Der Linde, then I have to show you some of the Van Der Linde ways, now don’t I?” He let out a signature chuckle, a hearty throaty laughter, that Lou felt warmth in. She didn’t understand it, a weight had been lifted from her chest… Only to be replaced by something heavier.

“Had?”

“Hmm?” Dutch’s eyebrow raised, “What are ya’ talking about?” She already knew the answer, but she knew that she needed to hear it to believe it.

“You said, ‘had’? Is my mother gone now? Did she run away?”

“No.” Dutch then took that next glass like a champ, he too looked like he was about to chug the bottle himself. “She’s uh-well…” He looked down in his lap, Lou’s eyes slowly widening as the truth dawned upon her. Far worse than she had previously expected the answer to be. “Dead.” They both reached for the bottle at the same time, Dutch gesturing for her to go first and Lou chugged at it again. She was drunk now and she could feel it, but she was so good at hiding it too. That was always what gave her the leeway in drinking games. She slid the bottle across the table for Dutch to take his swig, they had nearly finished the whole bottle by now, between the both of them it stood no chance.

“How?”

“Colm O’ Drisscol.” Lou didn’t know him, but she had heard of him. Her belly grew taught and she came to stand.

“Where can I find him?” Dutch raised a palm and shook his head vigorously.

“No, no, no, that isn’t happening right now. Not in your state…” Lou slowly came to sit back down, she had honestly never remembered herself being so obedient to someone before. Dutch had something held over her that he didn’t even understand, he had some sort of authority that she had only dreamed of knowing. The authority of a parental figure, a guardian. “Besides as much I would like to, I don’t know where he is.”

“I can kill him ya’know? I can slit his throat, put a bullet between his eyes, gut him like a pig-“

“Why does it matter so much to you? Huh?” The liquor was traveling to Dutch’s tongue.

“I will never have my questions answered now. I will never hear my mother’s laughter and feel her skin, or her hugs. I have never had that.” Dutch blinked exhausted mentally from the drain that these thoughts had taken on him. “He took that away from me.”

“Yeah, imagine actually knowing what the felt like and then having it all taken away from you.” Lou tensed up, her free hand balled into a fist, she wanted revenge more than anything. After Jax, all she ever thirsted for was the kill. Killing dead beat murderers and rapists was what fulfilled that, but now she had a specific target in mind. All of that anger dissipated, shoved aside to take more care of the moment as Dutch continued. “It was my fault, I am the reason she died. I loved her with all my being and I just…” Dutch’s hand stretched out in front of him, fingers opening up to allude to the release of Annabelle’s soul. “It was my ego. If there is anyone you should hate for it, it’s me.” Dutch too, realized that he had not opened up to anyone like this in years. The both of them were connected and Lou was connected to Annabelle. Lou reminded him so much of her and he couldn’t help but ease into that. His expression softened, the shield was gone and he just saw there sat there as defeated man. Lou saw in him, her reflection, she too felt defeated by the hardships of this lifestyle and she took had felt guilty for her best love’s death.

“I don’t hate you.” Lou stated firmly, she wanted it to be ingrained into Dutch’s head that she had never been angry with him. And truthfully, she had never hated her mother or had been angry with her. She had thought before that she was glad things happened the way they did, otherwise she wouldn’t be here, and she wouldn’t have experienced what life meant on her own. She wouldn’t feel so connected to a man she had never before met in her life. If he had known about her and if he had come to her, she wouldn’t be grateful to have him here before her. She had never imagined this first meeting going this far, she had never imagined feeling this way. She was so afraid, but seeing him, just the same, she felt solace in him. He knew her and he knew what she felt. He didn't have to know she existed for this.

_This life is more than bounty hunting and stealing, you’ve forgotten that._

_Find a reason to remember again._

“Ya’know, I was the reason that one of my closest friend’s died. I will never forget that and I will never stop feeling guilty for it. It hurts, I understand that. I was egotistical and so confident and selfish. I didn’t see what was right in front of me the whole time.” Dutch sighed, he poured her another glass and then himself one. “I won’t let that happen again.” Dutch raised his glass to Lou, he didn’t need to smile, there was no need to hide this between them. Lou raised her glass and they clinked cups in some sort of silent understanding, downing their glasses together.

“Neither will I.” Dutch said, and Lou nodded. “Together?”

“Yes, Together.” They quietly sat there for a moment, staring at their glasses and letting the emotions of the previous conversation settle.

“You know, kid, I wouldn’t have let you leave this camp if you had tried. Just thought you should know.”

“I know.” She finally smiled, it was a genuine one. “I would have a found a way though, if I really wanted to.” And boisterous laughter echoed from the tent, bystanders wondering what the hell was going on in there. Soon, they would find out. Soon everyone would get to know the infamous Louis Anastasia Van Der Linde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment on what you think so far? What will happen? I love you guys and your support! It's keeping me motivated to move forward because I know I'm not the only one invested in this. Stay safe everyone! 😊


	16. Intermission 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short intermission with facts that I pulled while writing myself through Lou's journey. This will also include the summary as we enter into the next session of Lou's narrative.

**_ Intermission I _ **

**Fun Facts that I never took care to mention**

**&**

**Things that could, or could not, be of importance:**

  * The Satchel that Lou and Alex find in the attic contained a knife, a journal and a necklace. Lou took that necklace with her, Alex and Lou sold it to get money after escaping her aunt.
  * After Lou leaves, Ms. Livingston follows and elopes to an old cottage in the mountains with the stable master of the Peters Estate.
  * Lou has always preferred two pistols to one, something she had read about in her mother’s journals. She took this from another certain Van Der Linde that we all know of.
  * In 1896, Alex had proposed to Lou. She immediately turned him down and thus, began the conflict between them, worsened by Jax.
  * Sometimes intense, acute grief is paired with auditory and visual hallucinations of the deceased. People can maintain connections through objects that held some sort of value to the dead.
  * The author of the American Inferno, Evelyn Miller, is Lou’s favorite author and, coincidentally, is Dutch’s favorite author too.
  * The scientific name of the Tickseed flower is Coreopsis, and is otherwise known as Pot of Gold. Signature to how Jax was using Lou as a money pit. Also, Coreopsis colors can range from white and purple, to gold and yellow. Needless to say, they are very vibrant once they blossom.
  * Lou lied to Hosea and Arthur when she had told them what had happened with the fugitive. She actually viciously killed him with her knife and drug his body into the lake. It was why Hosea and Arthur never heard gunfire.
  * Grimshaw is never kind to strangers. When Lou helped them, she had a gut feeling that they should bring her along and insisted on it.
  * The Appaloosa horse breed is widely known for their resilience and longstanding endurance. They have good health, agility, stamina, and speed, and were often used for hard labor. In more recent years, they are used in endurance horse races that go anywhere from 25-35 miles in distance.
  * Lou’s boots are trashed because she didn’t take much care of herself after Alex’s death, buying a new pair of boots was never on her mind. This created tears in the leather and a tiny growing hole here and there. It’s also symbolic of her long journey to get to her father, there is a reason I had her father be the one to have her boots fixed up.



**Part Two Begins…**

A month passes since Lou had finally reunited with her father. The two of them kept it calm and stoic around one another, a quality that both of them shared without even realizing it. They didn’t want any of the other members in the gang to realize how connected they were. So, of course, they bottled everything up again and when Lou felt like she wanted to talk to her father, she would push it away. The feeling was mutual. Eventually everyone realized that Lou was his daughter, some had even made a running joke about it, but others immediately welcomed it and accepted her.

Lou grew closer to some members of the gang, others she stayed away from, and for a good enough reason. Arthur and her were still cold to each other. Micah had tried to cozy up to her, but he was creepy and she didn't want anything to do with him. She had warmed up to Hosea, to such an extent that they were playing dominoes almost every day now, as he told her all about his and Dutch’s adventures.

The ladies had taken to making bets on when she would finally let them put a dress on her and fancy her up. She fell asleep every night by the fire to Javier’s guitar, Bill’s murmuring and Uncle’s drunken snores. Pearson had come to absolutely love her plentiful supply drops every other day; wild buck, badger, and bear one time. Sean and Lenny had lost to her on more than one occasion in the case of out drinking each other. The foolishness of those guys, trying to out drink a Van Der Linde?

She had never felt more at home before and she hadn't felt so comfortable in a long, long time. Her only fear: how long was that comfort going to last? She was going to do everything in her power to protect it, in life and death, these people had become her people.


	17. Chapter 15: Same Old Same Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis wakes up to a rough start, hoping that the day will be as relaxing as possible, she tries to rest and enjoy herself. That doesn't exactly happen, but she can't really complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As we enter into Part Two of the Louis Van Der Linde Story line, I would like to thank all of you for your continued support. I love Louis and writing this story takes me away from the troublesome times that all of us are facing right now. I hope that reading it does the same for you.

Sweaty, uncondensed panic ran through Lou as she shot upright. Her chest heaving and her breathing ragged as she tried to collect herself in the dark. The shadow of the morning, beaming through the green fabric of the tent. Lou fell a tiny hand wrap around her wrist and she tilted her head over to find that it was Tilly. Tilly was tucked beneath the covers, while Lou rested further off to the side, somehow she had gotten closer to the other two warm bodies in the tent throughout the night.

“Hey,” Tilly whispered, her head still resting on the stitched up feather pillow. She tugged Lou back to lay down and Lou did, eyes pinned up at the ceiling of the tent and breathing still out of beat like her rapid heart rate. “It’s okay.” Lou licked her dry lips, her free hands clenched at her sides as Tilly continued to hold onto her. “Was it about Alex, again?” Lou flinched, she had been having nightmares of course, not as the same frequency as before but still noticeable to her fellow tent mates. Lou’s head snapped over to look Tilly in the eyes, she ripped her hand from Tilly and twisted herself away to face her back in Tilly’s direction. Mary-Beth moved around in her sleep, causing both Tilly and Lou to become even more still than they were before. “I hear you say his name a lot, it pains you.”

“Tilly, stop. I am fine.” Lou hissed back in as low a volume as she could, aggravation and annoyance overflowed her ever nerve.

“You can talk about. We are here for you.” Lou closed her eyes and she sat up again, turning her gaze back to Tilly with sad eyes.

“I know. Just let it be.” Lou then scooted her way out of the tent, she grabbed her hat at the edge and shoved her boots on. When she exited the flaps, she took a deep breath, eyes searching the camp for any others that were awake. For the most part everyone was still asleep, aside from Micah, who was sitting over by the put out fire. Louis ventured out of the camp, to the bank of the river. She sat down on the dirt ground, removing her hat and placing it beside her. With one steady breath, she returned to herself.

Closed eyes, Lou inhaled deeply, exhaled deeply, inhaled and then exhaled, to form some sort of rhythm in herself. The scent of morning dew, the quiet, the mist that trailed over the open lake. She sat on it’s beach, enjoying the calming atmosphere for a moment. She had taken it upon herself to do this every morning, to clear her mind, to appreciate what she was surrounded by. She had made it so far, so much turmoil and pain and now she was here. The quiet was warm and comfortable. The sun peeking up into the sky and gracing her with its tender light, it glistened on her skin and she glowed like a star. Her hair carried in the wind, long and curly and greasy, fluttering out beside her. Her whole body relaxed, her mind was silent, for once in all of her eternity. Every morning she was so thankful to have this feeling. She was so thankful that her father had allowed her this. The episode with Tilly this morning, she knew would be unknown to anyone else. Tilly would keep silent about Lou’s traumas and Mary-Beth was sound asleep.

“What are doing, Lou?” Lou flinched, she hadn’t expected any visitors. It wasn’t that she was far from the camp, she was only a feet from it, but only a select few were awake at these early hours. Lou opened her eyes, feeling the sting of light bleed into her vision and she cocked her head in the boy’s direction.

“Jack,” Of course, the child always wakes up first, a potion for trouble. “I am…” Lou didn’t really have a word for it. “Relaxing.”

“Oh, can I relax with you?”

“Not really, this is an adult thing.”

“Adult thing?”

“It requires being quiet.”

“I can be quiet.” Lou rolled her eyes, facing the lake again, she did her best to ignore the boy. Jack sat down beside her, albeit a little more obnoxious than necessary. Lou’s eyes squeezed tighter as she searched for that silence again, but the boy was making these weird noises and swatting his hands around.

“Will you quit it?” She deadpanned in a level voice, Jack froze and his back went straight as he sat accused.

“Sorry, Louis, bugs are everywhere.”

“You just have to ignore them, alright?” Lou again breathed in long and languidly through her nose. “Focus on your breathing, Jack.” Jack surprisingly listened, if but for a few moments Lou could achieve that relaxation again.

“LOUIE! EY!” Karen. Lou’s shoulders slacked in defeat as she realized that she had lost it, yet again, and it wasn’t coming back. “What are ya’ doin’?” Karen asked, lifting her skirts and plopping down beside Lou. Louis shook her head, she thought she would have some time this morning, it was nice while it lasted. “I see you come here and sit in the morning, someone might think you are crazy.”

“I could care less what anybody thinks, I do it for myself.” Lou explained, patting her knees and leaning forward.

“Yeah, but what are ya’ doing really though? Like thinking?”

“No, I don’t think about anything, that’s the point.” Karen stretched over her arms over her head and yawned, when Lou glanced over Jack was gone, a child’s attention so sporadic. Karen took a similar sitting position to Lou and sighed.

“Well, show me what you do, then?” Lou glared at Karen for a solid minute before taking the time to work out the kinks in her neck. She looked back across the lake and exhaled.

“You just close your eyes and focus on everything else, but your thoughts.”

“That’s so boring.” Lou then was trying to ignore Karen as she fell back into herself and enjoyed the gentle wind as it tickled her skin. It was so still for a moment…

“So, what do you call this?”

“Urgh,” Lou groaned, her head slumping forward. “I don’t know I just do it.”

“Any tips on how to be good at it.” Lou’s back straightened as she sucked in a breath, her muscles tightening and then she released.

“You have to come into yourself, take care of the moment.”

“Ha, come into myself? There is only one thing that comes into me, if you know what I mean.” Karen chuckled, nudging her elbow at Lou’s shoulder, she grabbed her belly as she couldn’t contain her laughter and she fell over in the dirt.

“Fine, I’m done.” Lou grunted as she went to stand, she grabbed her hat that she laid out beside her and wiggled her legs out to get feeling back into them. Her bare feet were covered in damp dirt from the shoreline of the lake.

“Hey, wait, where are ya’ going?”

“Lou!” A groggy groan echoed from one of the caravan’s, it was the closest one to the bank: Arthur’s. She tilted her gaze in his direction, he was sitting on the stump out beside his cot, with a journal and pencil in hand. How long had he been sitting there? “You can sit back down and relax for a bit. Karen get the hell out of here, give her some space goddammit.”

“But, Arthur-“

“That’s enough, the girl sits here to be alone. Give her that much.” Arthur then returned to sketching whatever it was he was doing in his book. Lou watched him as she returned back to her seat, Karen scurried away. Lou wondered why Arthur was being so nice to her all of sudden, but she didn’t question it. He was going to keep people away for a bit and she needed that. She sat back down in her spot and placed her holster back where it was.

“Thank you, Arthur.” She said.

“Don’t mention it.” He replied, back to the same Arthur that didn’t like her all that much at all. Well, the feeling was mutual, Lou thought.

Lou was given her hour of silence and she felt so much calmer afterwards. Arthur made sure that no one bothered her, she could hear him, telling others to keep their distance or to stay quiet. His efforts could only do so much, as soon, the entire camp was on their feet and bustling with action. Pearson making the daily morning slop and Grimshaw giving orders, this way and that. Dutch sharing conversations with Hosea as they shared their first cups of joe. Arthur eventually left his place, Lou followed shortly after. She grabbed herself some food and then moved to the fire, where others sat in empty groggy bliss. Uncle didn’t even bother talking in the mornings, too tired to give people a wink even, but he was certainly working his first share of whiskey for the day. Micah was always around the fire, at night he was there, or prowling the camp at least. When Lou finished, she grabbed the book that he father had given her a week ago. Usually she would be finished reading it by now, but she had been spending her time with other more pressing matters. Due to the circumstance, she wanted to simply relax today, she had done enough work in the past month or so to redeem such a break. As she sat by the fire, reading her book, she noticed a conversation riling up that had a lot to with her.

“…I’m just saying, Bill, evidently the strongest fighter here is me.”

“Wanna put some money behind that?” Bill stood from his chair, it flipped backwards and he rolled his long sleeves up to his elbow.

“I will gladly do so,” Micah laughed, albeit with a hint of nervousness, “But you see, I reckon you fight just like Arthur and well, Arthur ain’t no match for me as we have seen.” Arthur was tending to his horse not so far away, but he heard Micah’s words and he decided to approach the scene in response to them.

“What have we seen exactly?” Arthur placed his hands on the table and leaned forward over Micah. Lou glanced up from her book, head still downward so no one could see she was watching. In the not so far distance, she saw Hosea and Dutch watching closely from Dutch’s tent.

“Your fight with the girl.” Micah explained confidently, he stood up to meet Arthur’s gaze. “You lost to a girl.” Arthur’s jaw tightened and Lou’s eyes shot back down to the book, when she saw Arthur’s eyes meet her.

“Now, Micah, I reckon you watch yourself. That was pretty fair fight, no winners nor losers.”

“Yeah, Micah, what in the world are you getting at here?” Bill snarled, not liking that he was being compared to Arthur and not liking that Micah was always trying to start conflict.

“I’m saying I wouldn’t let a ~ _weak, little girl_ ~ beat me, Arthur had his ass handed to him. We all were thinking it.”

 ** _Twang_** , an uneven chord was plucked, and Lou’s gaze raised again to see Javier staring at her with narrowed eyes from across the fire pit. His guitar in hand, he gestured his head in the direction of Micah. **_Twing_** , another off-key tune. Lou sighed, she really didn’t want to do anything that required her undivided efforts, but she couldn’t sit back as Micah spoke so poorly about her. Lou closed her book, she stood up from the stump she was sitting on and slowly made way for the table. She saw Hosea smile at her, elbowing Dutch to signal approach. Dutch smoked coolly on his cigar, his expression stoic and untainted. Lou cleared her throat, Arthur leaned back and cross his arms, lips quirking up just so.

“Why don’t you prove it, Micah?” Micah faced Lou, he snorted and cross his arms.

“You are a very beautiful Lou, would hate to mess up that pretty face? And besides, you don’t weigh more than a hundred pounds wet. You wouldn't stand a chance against a full grown, real man.” He let out his own childish laughter, Arthur interrupted him, smacking a hard hand at his back.

“I think you underestimate her strength, Micah. Left a bruise on my jaw for weeks.”

“That’s because you are weak, Cowpoke.”

“Like I said, Micah,” Lou stressed between clenched teeth. “Why don’t you prove it?” Lou spat at the ground before him and Micah dropped his crossed arms.

“I wouldn’t want to hurt you, ya’know.” Micah swung his arms around as he distanced himself from the table, making some room. Lou inhaled, she then started to unbutton her long sleeved shirt, revealing the bindings around her breasts beneath but also her toned limbs and physique. She was by no means skinny, more so lean and muscly for a woman. She tossed her shirt onto the table and stretched her legs around as she made further away from the table. “I will admit, you got nice muscle going under that shirt, doll, a real nice body. Maybe we could go for a toss in the hay sometime.” He chuckled to himself, and then Lou got into her fighting stance. “You sure you want to get hurt?”

“Are you sure?” Micah let out a battle cry as he swung forward and Lou successfully dodged, planting a fist into his gut. He drew away, holding the spot with a wince.

“Ha, I was going easy on ya’ there.”

“I’m going easy on you too.” By now, others in the camp had taken to watching the fight. The Reverend had placed the bet that Lou was going to win, starting a whole slew of bets in the course of a few minutes. “Maybe I shouldn’t.” Micah went towards her with a balled up, sloppy fist and Lou straightened, she held a palm facing out. “One second.” She walked back over to the table, sat down and took a breath as she removed her boots. She then returned to her place; Micah stood there confused. “I’m ready again.” Micah wasted no time, his reputation at stake. Lou dodged again, then swung her foot around, bringing it down on Micah’s face as he fell back. She skipped backwards, giving him space to angrily get up onto his feet as blood poured from his nose. With all rage, he sprinted at her and managed to tackle her to the ground. He planted a hard fist to his face, she kneed between his legs and kicked him off to the side. He held that spot, rolling around for a moment before making a quick recuperation. Lou held her bleeding lip, she looked down at her fingers to see that some of the blood had come off onto it.

“You see, girl, that’s what happens when you play with a real man.” He moved back into his fighting stance, taunting her to come at him. She loosened her shoulders a bit, eyes watching for his every move. “Ya’ gonna go? Or are you too afraid?” Lou then rushed him, she jumped up and kicked a leg right into his chest, he was not defending himself well enough. He stumbled back, then came in for a swing. She ducked under his fist, swerved her feet and took a hard fist across his opened cheek. Micah slid back and dropped to the ground, letting out a loud groan on he feels unconscious.

“Damn, girl.” Bill exclaimed; everything was silent aside.

“I told ya’, she has a mighty fine fist, that’s for sure.” Arthur then nodded at her with respect before making his way off back to his horse.

“YES! HAHA! Cough up that money, Strauss.” Pearson shouted in the backdrop, Lou peered down at Micah’s body, she could hear footsteps approaching. She looked up to see that it was Dutch and Hosea, Dutch held her shirt in one hand, cigar in the other as he exhaled a cloud of smoke. He held her shirt out and she accepted it.

“Don’t worry about him, Lou. Let him wallow in his own shit.” Hosea stated, Lou slid her shirt back on over her shoulders.

“Hosea and I were talking Louis, maybe it’s time we include you on our most recent job.” So much for having a relaxing day, but Lou wasn’t going to complain, she missed being in the game. “You seem like you could hold your own.” Lou smiled and nodded her head; she was wondering when her father would finally allow her to join in on their fun.

“And you’ve done jobs in the past, it would be silly for us to waste such talent.” Hosea explained in a joyful tone.

“I would love that so much. I have been itching to go rob something, somewhere.”

“We are heading into town, we might have a lead there, why don’t you come with us?” Dutch said, his lips finally turning into a smile.

“Yes, thank you!” Lou jumped up and down, her shirt still unbuttoned, and she rushed to go get her boots beside the table. “I won’t let you guys down! I can be ready in five minutes.” She tripped over as she tried to hop on one leg and throw her boot on. She then got back up and brushed herself off, running to go get her things.

“Don’t forget to bring your guns!” Dutch called out after her with a snort.

“I know!” She shouted in response, exiting into her shared tent. Dutch took a drag of his cigar one last time before throwing it to the ground. His smile trailing off into a displeased frown.

“This ain’t a good idea, Hosea.” He placed his hands on his hips, concern dawning on his expression.

“She can hold her own and after all of the stories she has told me, she knows how this sort of thing works. She will be fine, especially with us to watch after her. She will be safe with us.”

“I hope you are right, my friend, I hope to God that you are right.” Dutch patted Hosea on the shoulder before making his way back to his tent, in preparation of what the day’s stress will bring him.


	18. Chapter 16: A Town Called Rhodes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finally gets to join Dutch and the gang on some adventures of their own. Dutch, Hosea, Arthur, and Lou venture into town to take the Sheriff, Leigh Grey, up on his offer for friendship and work, potentially an in into robbing the Grey's blind. Lou nearly foils the whole operation, but Dutch gives her a second chance to be a part of the gang, with a simple choice. Or a not so simple one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help myself, as I was writing this story I realized there was an opportunity that I just couldn't miss. It also fits so well with the RDR2 game play, considering that the player can make their own decisions. So after writing a bit I decided to go back and add in some other chapters that offer new options. 
> 
> THIS STORY IS NOW A CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE!!
> 
> If you just want to read the story there is an "Author's Choice" option, which is what I originally intended to post on its own before developing this idea. If you want to go your own way with the story, there will now be multiple options at your disposal. The only draw back to this is that some story lines for certain options will come out later than others and this story is going to take a hell of a lot longer to plan now. I really couldn't help it though. I'm so invested and I am so excited to present this idea to you guys.
> 
> I hope you enjoy! Please comment or leave a kudos! I love to hear what you guys think!

The sun was brutal on this day, like it had been any other day, but Lou just was more annoyed with it. Freedom was too it seemed. She steadily kept Freedom behind Hosea and Dutch, Arthur was on his horse beside her, as they trotted down the trail towards a town called Rhodes: A town that Lou had only ever seen on a map. She had gotten so ready for this; she was so excited to be a part of a crew again and to rob like in what she called ‘the old days’, like when she was with Alex.

“Now, uh, Lou?”

“Yes, Dutch?”

“You stay near us, don’t go straying away too far.” She wondered why he cared so much, but she agreed to it anyways.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Another thing,” Hosea began, “We met with the Sheriff a while back, gave him some fake names for ourselves. Dutch is Hoagy Macintosh, Arthur is Arthur Callahan, and I am Melvin. You too should probably come up with a false identity, dear.” Lou laughed, kicked her horse to trot up alongside Dutch and she teased him.

“Hoagy Macintosh?”

“It’s what I thought of in the moment, alright?” Lou fell back again beside Arthur, giving Arthur a known smirk that he didn’t care to return with anything but a firm glare.

“Yeah, alright, what were you guys even doing, talking to the Sheriff?”

“Trelawny got himself in trouble, we got him out and, in the process, got ourselves a nice lead. Two to be exact.” Arthur explained, and Lou only questioned further.

“What are we looking at here? Giving back to the poor? Hosting an all free sale on goods stolen from the local wealthy?”

“No, no, we don’t have time for that anymore, girl. Those stories your mother wrote are old ones, we need to think more about the health of the gang right now and right now, we need money.” Lou’s amusement fell into something of disappointment, although she tried to hide it away from Arthur’s wandering attention. She had learned so much from her mother, Hosea too, about the gang’s kind giveaways to those that needed them.

“Oh, why, of course.” She responded back, focusing more on the trail ahead, then anything else.

“So, what we’ve found is this feud between the Braithwaite’s and the Grey’s…” Hosea said, trying to change the subject and lighten the tenseness that had grown in the air. “Two of the richest family’s in Rhodes, the plan is, we get close to both of them and then rob them right out from under their noses.”

“Sounds like fun. Who do we rob first?”

“The Sheriff said that we should stop by sometime, we are hoping that will be our in, considering that he is a Grey.” Dutch added, a train passed by over the tracks ahead and they all came to a halt.

“Absolutely Brilliant, we make them think that they robbed each other.”

“Exactly, my dear girl, that’s the plan.” Hosea cheered, the train chugged onwards, moving past the four of them with a swift wind behind it. Louis was in a playful mood, her day had been off to a rough start, but she was happy to be a part of this important mission. She could see a sign pointing to Rhodes on the other side of the track, she bit her bottom lip, thought quickly about her decision and then went for it.

“Last to the town owes up a hundred.” She hooted as she kicked her spurs at Freedom’s hind legs, her horse galloping forward.

“Not happening!” Arthur rode out fast after her down the trail, Dutch’s eyes widened, him and Hosea followed in pursuit.

“Louis! What did I say about staying together!” Dutch shouted, but Louis and Arthur were already so far ahead. Louis could see the town; she knew she was approaching it quick; she could feel that win. **_Whoosh!_**

“Yeehaw!” Arthur hollered as he rode past her, tilted his hat to her as he passed by. She urged Freedom forward with a grunt, a wide smile planted on her face.

“Keep going, Freedom. You got it!” Pretty soon, she had caught up to Arthur, they were side by side, right at the town’s edge. They both pulled back on their horses when they made it to the empty town circle, trotting around one another, Lou laughed.

“I guess that’s a tie again.” She declared in a confident victory.

“Argh, next time then.” Arthur then started over to the Sheriff’s office, it was not far down the one stretch of town. She followed, Dutch and Hosea steadying their horses to a slow trot behind. Arthur her and reined their Horse’s at the wooden frame of the patio attached to the building, Hosea and Dutch were out of breath as they parked their horses the same. Lou leaned up against the column, her arms crossed and a grin on her lips.

“You boys owe us a hundred dollars each it seems.” She said smugly, hoping to put a smile on the old farts. Dutch stopped in front of her, his glare was hot enough to make her smile falter. She had a feeling it had nothing to do with him losing. Without a word, he ascended the steps to the front door of the office. Hosea gave her a nod, something of a smile as he followed Dutch. Arthur followed too, but this time he leaned up against the column across from her.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“We have no time for childish games, ya’hear?” Arthur spoke tersely, stepping up the stairs, Dutch finally opening the door for Hosea and Arthur to walk through. Dutch glared down at Lou, still standing at the bottom of the steps.

“Come on, kid, we have work to do.” Lou dragged herself up those steps and into the building, she brushed the negative exchange off her shoulders and decided to step in with a built-up show of confidence.

“Mr. Leigh Grey, so nice to see an old friend.” Dutch greeted with fake excitement, closing the door behind him.

“Boys, ain’t it nice to see ya’ll, and a her?” The Sheriff looked her up and down, most definitely displeased with her unusual presentation. It was a lot more conservative here in the South.

“Yes, this is my daughter…” Dutch glanced over his shoulder at Louis, hoping she would fill in the gaps. Lou soon realized what was going on and she jolted.

“Petunia.”

“Yes,” Dutch continued. “Petunia Macintosh. We were strolling through town and decided to stop by for a bit, seeing if there was anything, we could do for ya’ on this fine day.” Grey turned his attention away from Lou and then smiled around at the group of me.

“Ain’t that swell of you boys! In fact, I do have a few things that need tending to if ya’ don’t mind.”

“Why, of course, our skills are at your disposal, my friend.” Grey laughed, feeling awfully pleased with these men. They must have done something really good for him to be so convinced, Lou thought.

“Well, I have two things here that need doin’. There is a warrant out for the arrest of a man named Wilson Sterling, the man spent most of his life money laundering, turns out he’s not far from here. We have another warrant for an old confederate soldier, such a shame to do this to a veteran, but he’s been called upon for charges of rape at the local inn. We know where he is, I just can’t bring myself to go get him.”

“We will take-“

“What do you mean you can’t bring yourself to arrest him? He’s a rapist.” Lou snarled, stepping forward, Arthur held forceful arm out to bar her from moving any further.

“Excus’ me, little lady?” The Sheriff narrowed his eyes, his hands moving to his hips, where one rested on a pistol.

“A man like that does not deserve mercy or respect.” Grey’s expression contorted in annoyance, he moved around the desk he stood behind. Hosea placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Now, there’s no need for that. The girl is speaking out of turn.”

“Lou, go outside!” Dutch demanded, Lou hesitantly took herself outside, Arthur came after her. Once the door was closed behind them and they were out on the patio, Arthur shoved Lou, much to her aggravation.

“What the hell was that for?!”

“Can’t you keep your darn mouth shut for once. You’re so stubborn, all the damn time.”

“And I will be, no one can silence me, not unless they kill me at least.” Arthur crossed his arms, stepping into Lou’s personal space, he glared down at her and she glared right back.

“You just have to face that sometimes you aren’t always right.”

“The man is a rapist?! Nobody should be giving him any leeway.” She crossed her own arms and Arthur’s jaw tightened, blue eyes looking her up and down.

“I agree with that, but as you can see, we are trying to get on this man’s good side. You not being able to control your temper isn’t making it any better.” The door opened and Dutch and Hosea revealed themselves, exiting the building and saying their polite goodbyes to the Sheriff. Dutch stormed between Lou and Arthur, pacing back and forth in front of the steps, Lou descended them. Dutch walked up to Lou, eye to eye, eyebrows furrowed and pursed lips.

“Next time you nearly cost us a job-“

“You’ll what?” Lou spat, Hosea and Arthur watching close by in surprise at Lou’s audacity. “Look, I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t stand aside when someone is wrong, alright?” She remembered Jax and the man from the carriage, shoving that memory down farther and farther. “Not anymore at least, if I can change things for the better, then I am damn well going to do it.” Dutch lightened up; he took a deep breath.

“We need to work on your attitude.” He took care to emphasis those last words, they shot out forcefully from his lips and she could see that he was angered. “Anyways, I am being kind enough to offer you a choice.” He stepped back and gestured in Hosea and Arthur’s direction. “You can go with Arthur and Hosea to get the good for nothing money launderer. Or you can come with me and get revenge on the confederate rapist. Either way you are helping the Sheriff, just like the rest of us, understood?” Lou sighed and nodded her head quietly, weighing her options. Damn, did she wanted to kill that rapist, she wanted justice served. But as she really thought about the previous events, she realized how upset her father was with her. She had been able to evade that horrible shame in the past month, but now she was in it with him, in the game with him and the others. The way he admonished her made her feel weird, she had never had that or at least she had never had her actual parents do it. She had made him ashamed to have a daughter like her, her actions were anything but obedient. She really did almost risk the whole operation and she knew that the Sheriff didn’t like woman speaking out of turn. She took a deep breath and realized that perhaps she needed to not be herself for a bit, maybe she just needed to be what Dutch wanted her to be.

“I’m sorry.” She said, Dutch’s expression softened, and he placed a hand on her shoulder. It was a hand of apology on his own part, for getting so angry himself.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s just that we have a plan and we have to stick to the plan, do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good, now where are you goin’?”


	19. Chapter 17: The Rapist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis decides to join Dutch, hoping she could prove herself to him by showing restraint and arresting the rapist. Things don't really go according to plan, and Louis is again stuck trying to figure out the type of person she is and wants to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment or a like. As the story progresses it may be the determining factor in whether or not I keep up on certain story lines and options. Thank you!

“You know, I don’t like it so much either.” Dutch said amongst the silence, it had been a quiet ride as they made their way to the confederate soldier’s home, right where Grey had said it was. Lou lifted her head and nodded; Dutch’s demeanor was much more different when he was alone with Lou. “I just-“Dutch tried to find a way to explain his take on the situation. “Sometimes you have to deal with certain things to get to the bigger picture.”

“I disagree, believing in something is one thing, standing up for what you believe in is a completely different thing.” And she believed that she hated Leigh Grey for all that he stood for, Dutch snorted at her words, admiring her when she wasn’t paying attention.

“You sound just like me when I was your age. So impatient for justice that I would go out there and get it myself.”

“What happened to that?”

“Hmm?”

“Those stories that Annabelle told, the one’s that Hosea told me, what happened?” Dutch remained silent; he didn’t really have much of an answer to that question.

“Things change, society has changed, but what we stand for? That hasn’t changed.”

“Why didn’t you help me out back there? The man was condoning a rapist, making excuses for it too. That’s how people get away with crimes like that, society will always go after us thieves, but never after the other kind of criminal, the rapists and abusers.”

“We’ll get Grey back, I promise. We do some errands for him, get on his good side and then rob the Grey family blind. In the meantime, they will help us with the Braithwaite’s. They won’t even know that we are buddying up to them too. It’s a good plan, Louis, you just have to trust me.”

“I do trust you.”

“Then follow the plan. Whether you like Grey, or not, this is the way to get back at him.” Lou acknowledged what her father was trying to say, so she held back on any more discussion on the matter. Like she thought before, she needed to be what Dutch wanted. She was just happy to finally be alongside him, she needed to keep it that way.

“Thank you for inviting me on this, it means a lot to me.”

“I know it does, just be careful, no more foolish games.”

“But foolish games are the best part.” She snickered.

“Look, you can’t play games when doing serious business like this, Louis. I think it’s about time that you were finally exposed to adulthood and growing up.”

“Oh God,” Lou groaned, she felt like her eardrums were going to explode. “Please stop, you sound like my aunt.” Dutch laughed, slapping his thigh as he did so. They came into a path that split between to farm fields and the distance they could make out a small cabin, smoking billowing out of the chimney.

“I assure you I am not, just making sure you know how these types of things really work. You were doing small jobs; a true Van Der Linde gets into the bigger game.”

“Like the Braithwaite’s and the Grey’s? Ha, I could rob them right now.”

“Oh no, child. Again, you aren’t seeing the bigger picture. They have money, hidden everywhere. In their estate, they have millions of dollars for us to pocket, but the only way we can get it is if they trust us.”

“Dutch, I don’t mean to offend you, but what exactly makes you think that trust will have them unravel all of their fortune into our hands? They aren’t going to open a secret cash drawer and start throwing money at us.” Dutch’s laughter came again, it warmed Lou more than she even realized. She enjoyed being around her father, but ever since she had joined his gang, they very seldom ever spent time together like this. Lou promised herself she would change that, for her own good.

“You just don’t see what I see, I have so much to teach you. The Braithwaite’s and the Grey’s are involved in different businesses, my sweet, and those businesses produce money. And, for us, opportunity.” She still didn’t understand what Dutch meant, but she went along with it anyways, a smile blooming in her cheeks.

“I still don’t get it, but I guess you will have to show me.”

“And show you I will, now come on, lets get this rapist monster and bring him to justice.” Dutch forced his horse into a quicker gallop towards the property, Lou came up closely behind. When they approached, a woman in a long expensive red gown exited the building, waving her hands to them in greeting. Lou was confused at first, but instead filled that confusion by making observations and taking note of their surroundings. Dutch stopped at the gate that was a few meters from the actual front of the home, he dismounted his horse. Louis trotted up herself and did the same, Dutch stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.

“Who is she?”

“Might be his wife, can’t know for sure.” He looked between the woman and the other side of the house. “Listen, move around back while I distract her, see if you can find this disgraceful piece of shit.” He muttered to her, releasing his hand off her shoulder he opened the gate and welcome himself and Lou onto the property.

“Hello! We don’t really get visitors out here, how can I help you both?” Lou calmly walked up alongside her father; the woman remained under the shade of the patio.

“Good Afternoon, Miss! We were sent by the town Sheriff Mr. Grey. We are nothing but simple salespeople looking for some hungry customers, he said you both might be of interest.”

“Oh, well-uh-“ She nervously released a sigh of relief, “What might you both be selling?” Lou started splitting from Dutch, towards the side of the house.

“Just some um-“ Dutch searched his mind for anything that might make sense.

“Where do you think you are going, Ma’am?” The woman asked as she watched Lou disappear beside the lonely farmhouse.

“Farm product!” Dutch stated aloud, “Yes, my associate is just inspecting your grass and soil content. You know, some farmers don’t get the best luck with the season. We have created a product that will be much to your liking.”

“Hmm, how interesting.” The woman seemed completely convinced, Dutch’s act was working fine.

“Yes, indeed, Mrs. Ambrose.” Dutch stopped at the steps leading up to the patio, making for his best act as he looked up at the woman.

“And what does it do exactly?”

“Well, what wouldn’t it do, is the question to ask.” He exclaimed, pretending excited over the fake product. “It ensures that your soil is perfect for growing crops, in all seasons for sure. It’s been proven by the government itself to work wonders on dead dirt, even dead crops grow into healthy ones.”

“By God, I can’t believe it. Is that some witchcraft, or something?”

“No, all blessed by the Lord, I guarantee. In fact,” Dutch worked his charms, leaning on the nearest pillar, he gave his signature smile and wink at the women. “My seed has grown plentiful all season long, with no doubt.” The woman held a hand over her blushing cheek and used her other hand to adjust her skirts.

“Of course, Mr.?”

“Smith, Frasier Smith, at your service always.”

“Do come inside, Mr. Smith? I can make you some-“Around the corner of the house appeared the Mr. Ambrose and in his grasp was Louis, annoyed more than ever that she failed to pay attention and prevent this mess. His arm was around her throat, a gun held hard to her head as he dragged her forward out into the open. The plump and bald man’s finger on the trigger, ready to fire and blow Lou to dust. The wife gasped, Dutch reacted immediately, his pistol drawn and aimed right at the man’s head.

“I will shoot this, little slut, if you don’t let me go!”

“If you don’t let her go, you aren’t going anywhere.” Dutch growled, but his voice was still so calm and level, his face showing that same shield.

“Malcolm! They are salesmen!” The wife screamed; she was instantly in a state of panic. Footsteps fluttered from inside and two young children came barreling out of the house, a little girl and a teenage boy.

“Father, what is going on?!” The girl shouted, holding her hands over her ears as she hid behind her older brother.

“They aren’t salesmen! They are with the Sheriff! After to get me for crimes I committed!”

“I promise, honey, they are not! Why would the Sheriff want you so badly?! You failed to pay for a whiskey, it was a simple mistake.”

“Let her go! Or I will shoot you dead!” Dutch stated again, more firmly this time, sliding the hammer back. The man shoved the metal of the gun harder into Lou’s head and her hat flew off over his shoulder as she continued to struggle. All her attempts to escape thwarted, he was morbidly obese and utilized weight that Lou couldn’t fight against.

“I will shoot her before you can!”

“He lied!” Lou finally choked out, eyes staring at the wife. The man kicked Lou in back and snarled in her ear, his disgusting breath stinging her nose.

“Shut up!”

“He raped a woman!” The wife’s expression of panic for her husband and the situation, immediately contorted into something else.

“DON’T LIE ABOUT MY HUSBAND!” She screeched, “Kill her, Malcolm!” Dutch moved away from the patio, the whole family was against him now, and Lou was at gunpoint.

“Let my daughter go now! Or I will shoot your wife!” Dutch pulled out his second pistol and pointed it at the wife, the kids cried out and Lou struggled harder. The whole situation blown out of proportion. The rapist chuckled; it was a deep, abyssal sound.

“I don’t care about that rotten worm!” But the wife remained on his side, she still fought for him.

“Just kill her already, Malcolm! The bitch deserves to die!”

“Then I will shoot your son!” Dutch turned the weapon down to the boy, who then flocked behind his mother even further. Lou drew the line there and struggled even harder against the man.

“NO! ENOUGH!” Lou remembered amongst the commotion that her knife was at her belt; she drew it and stabbed the man in the eye. He twitched behind her; blood spattered out onto her cheek. She shoved the gun away from him and stumbled backward away from him.

“NOOO!” The woman screamed, she ran down the steps, making her way for Lou in attempt of aggression.

**Bang!**

She dropped to the ground, the children standing there on the deck in shock. Lou’s own eyes wide as she looked between the dead mother and her children. The little girl started to cry, the boy standing there with a blank expression as his eyes rested on the dead bodies of his parents.

“Louis, what in the world were you thinking?!”

“I didn’t-I-“ Lou felt like she couldn’t breath again. “You didn’t have to kill her.” Dutch holstered his guns angrily and walked over to Lou, reaching his hands out to lift her up.

“You shouldn’t have gotten caught!” He yelled, Lou nearly fell into him, not quite steady on her feet due to the adrenaline.

“You shouldn’t have killed her! She didn’t have a weapon!” He looked down at the dead body of the woman with a scowl.

“Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it?!” Dutch shook his head down at Lou. “If only you hadn’t gotten caught!”

“He came up from behind me! And look at him! He is a big guy!”

“Well now, we are all in deep shit, aren’t we?! Because of your failure to pay attention!” Dutch’s fists clenched, neither of the Van Der Lindes noticed the worst.

“Fuck you!”

“Now that he’s dead, what are we going to tell, Grey?” She was so enraged, that that was the first thing he was thinking about.

“Grey?! Are you fucking serious?! These children have no parents now?!

**Cur-Chink!**

Both looked up to see that the boy now had a cocked shotgun, the front door of the house sliding shut behind him, the little girl still crying as she stood at his side. Lou didn’t even know what happened, as the boy aimed the shotgun at them. She reached for her gun, aimed, and then fired.

**Bang!**

The boy dropped to the ground; the little girl ran into the house with loud torturous screams emanating from the pit of her throat. Dutch looked to Lou, her gun still aimed, and she was shaking, a tear rolling down her bloodied cheek.

“Lou, it’s okay,” He whispered, raising a hand, he brought her aim down. “You did what you had to do.”

“I-I-I-“

“Shhh,” Dutch gave her nothing more than that, he started towards the house, entering through the front door.

“Little girl? It’s going to be okay! We aren’t going to hurt you!” She heard Dutch shout out, muffled lightly by the house. Lou’s dropped to her knees, steadying her breathes, looking around at the mess that her father and her made. Was this really what the Van Der Linde name meant? Had she been wrong about her genetics this whole time? About her heritage? Her eyes trailed up to dead boy, too young to be dead, and Lou did that. She looked down at her hands and she saw it again, blood, blood that only she could see. She was reminded of Alex, the blood on her hands was no longer only his.


End file.
